A Diamond in the Rough: Lots of flaws.
Apart For Restoration: Missing its rarest and most expensive parts.
All-Original Parts: Everything is worn out.
Arizona Car: Bleached paint, dried out weather-stripping, faded upholstery, and cracked dash top.
Best Offer: A car that’s been for sale since Moby Dick was a guppy.
Cream Puff: A tan car that smokes.
Dealer Maintained: Dealer boned them – so now they want to bone you.
Driven Daily: and beaten to death.
Firm: Don’t really want to sell.
Flawless: Seller is legally blind.
Getting Married: and will never have a fun car again.
Good For Restoration: Junk yard wouldn’t take it.
Going Abroad: Sold last POS car to a mob member.
Great on Gas: One barrel carb.
High Mileage: Drive train shot.
Illness Forces Sale: Got sick when found out how much it would cost to fix.
Just Inspected: (and you will be as shocked as I was that it passed)
Leave Message: Being stalked by past buyers he has sold to.
Limited Edition: Car Maker desperate to sell this model.
Little Old Lady Driven: Engine internals carbon encrusted from never being revved to over 1,500 RPM.
Looks Great: When viewed under sodium lights at midnight in a storm.
Low Miles: Broke down many years ago.
Many Extras: Radio, seat and windows included.
Minor Rust: No trunk or floor pans.
Mint condition: Untouched by children.
Needs Battery: Has a bad alternator or a mystery short circuit.
Needs Engine: See high mileage.
Needs Head Gasket: Driven across desert with a clogged radiator.
Needs TLC: about $5,000 to 10,000 ought to cover the repairs.
Never Seen Rain: A lemon the dealer would take back.
New Interior: Aftermarket Sunroof.
New Paint: Recent accident.
New Radio: and windows.
New Springs: Driven by a man drinking Slimfast
New Wheel Bearings: Driven by short old lady that keeps hitting curbs.
No Title: Stolen.
One of a Kind: Purple car with orange interior.
Original Owner: Now in nursing home.
Pace Car: Manufacturer couldn’t sell them without first putting decals on it.
Parts Car Included: Replacement parts impossible to find.
Quick Sale: IRS is about to foreclose on all assets.
Rebuildable: Good Title
Runs Strong: if you can get it started.
Small Dent: You’ll need a replacement 1/4 panel.
Solid Body: Rust though on the frame rails.
Tinted Windows: Owner likes to smoke pot while driving.
Too Many Cars: This is the worst of them.
Two New Front Tires: Needs Front-End alignment.
Two New Rear Tires: Punk kid by the name of Andy like to do burnouts.
Two-Tone Paint: Painter couldn’t properly match.
Very Rare: 1 of 320,768
Wife Forces Sale: Husband caught in the bed of another woman
Will Deliver: Desperate
Will Trade: Desperate and needs another car or truck.