this stuff is awesome OMFG… i’m in hysterics!
Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. When he was about to orgasm, he screamed “Yes Brittany!” at the top of his lungs. My name’s not Brittany. That’s his sister. FML
Today, I went to the doctor’s office because I was sick. The male nurse led me back and when he weighed me, he said “Why do I get all the beefy girls today?”. FML
Today, I heard a man pleasuring himself in the stall next to me during my post lunch deuce. I was washing my hands when my boss walked out of the stall. I can no longer look at him in the face. FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend to have sex. He told me he would rather play ps3. FML
Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said “you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses”. FML
Today, a toddler’s play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML
Today, I was at a bar in Canada and was really hitting it off with a girl. She asked how big my junk was and I told her in inches… They use centimeters. FML
Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML
Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML
rofl:rofl:rofl oh man i just want to keep going… LOL rofl:rofl:rofl
Thanks for sharing! :lol:lol