Social networking really does add a spin on this shit tho.
Solution - Don’t social network.
+1
You’re not special.
I definitely don’t agree with this being a hate crime. Honestly, I hate that classification entirely. All violent crimes are crimes of hate.
These simple “just don’t do it” solutions are clearly coming from people who were too old to be using social media in high school. Just because you cancel your account doesn’t mean that all the other kids in school are going to stop posting stuff about you. There’s a messy can of free speech vs harrassment that’s going to get opened in the courts soon I think.
Tragic
Being a closet/or open homosexual at 14 years old is probably not quite the same as having glasses or a funny name IMO . A very close friend of mine that is gay explained to me(he was closet till out of hs) that he basically came to school every day and internally felt unaccepted and wrong which led to depression even with him hiding it well enough to not really be picked on. I am sure even a non gay could feel like this for sure but I do think that being gay has to be really hard on people in their youth.
Anyhow anyone who takes their life is suffering from mental illness imo and this should be weighed in. I would be ok with prosecution but not for manslaughter as Fry said.
I ranted about this on Facebook the other day - a lot of people got pissed at me.
I think that all this attention on bullying now is ridiculous. Everyone put up with shit growing up - I certainly did. I dealt with it. I never bothered my mom and dad with my problems. I was strong enough as a kid to get through A TON of BS.
How can we prepare our kids for the serious challenges of adulthood if we won’t even let them deal with the mean kid in the sandbox?
Honestly, America is creating weaklings.
Let me note that I feel horrible about this Jamey kid, but bullying has gotten attention in the media even before this happened.
How old do you think I am Jay…?
I just hate social networking.
Welcome to high school please list your attorneys contact info…
This too. The media has implied with every story that you absolutely have to social network. There is no reason to need a facebook account. There no need to be on twitter. Stay the fuck away from it. If you want to find acceptance on the internet go play world of warcraft, go join a loosely automotive based local forum.
America is becoming a nation of yuppies that is so spoiled that we give all of this attention to a luxury issue like bullying.
Most people couldn’t care less about the 50 people a year that get murdered on the east side or the genocide in the world, but when little Johnny gets bullied, it’s all over the news. We’ve lost our perspective.
This reminds me of when the 3 deer a year that get caught on the cemetery fence in Williamsville became the big story on the news for like a week. Everyone thought it was “just so terrible!”
Meanwhile, the murder on the east side gets 12 seconds of airtime.
THIS. Parents need to tune in to their kids lives more. If you need to relocate…whatever it takes…that’s your job as a parent, to protect and prepare your kid for life.
HA.
And then you will just get mocked for poor grammar.
Welp… I wasn’t going to weigh in on this, but after reading some of the comments…
The hate crime part is only coming to light because he was gay, no other reason; while I don’t agree that “hate” crimes should be prosecuted differently and any crime like this is based on hate, so be it.
The parents of the deceased IMO did most everything they could have given the situation. He was in therapy/counseling, the parents supported him, and according to everything I’ve read/seen they were very involved with him in getting through this. Now when someone is at the point of throwing in the towel it’s VERY difficult to tell if their coping skills are getting better due to therapy, or if they’re getting their affairs in order and know the pain will be over soon.
For those of you who faced bullying and got through it, I have to ask for how many years and how severe was it? Was it just picking and name calling and piddly things? Which IMO kids should be subject to so they can learn to deal with it. When it becomes extreme and extended (IE: Major embarrassment on a daily basis, 5-1 fights, vehicles vandalized, Rejected by everyone, forced isolation, threats against other people for hanging out with certain individuals) And this goes on for periods of years; people get worn down. One can only keep fighting daily until they’re both mentally and physically exhausted. Just like if you beat a dog enough, he will stop fighting eventually and just withdraw and be fearful of everyone.
I know pretty close where this kid was and how he got there. While I’m not gay, never was; I faced similar shit my entire time in school from 1st grade to being done with HS. I never had to deal with the Facebook crap, but I sure as hell dealt with enough every single day in school to drive most anyone crazy; and combined with my home situation for a lot of it… I did exactly what this kid did… Only difference is I survived though.
most gay guys I know have great grammer…
Haha. Thanks for making this thread a little lighter guys.
The teacher in me says this:
Bullying is bad, I’ve witnessed it first person with several of my own students. I do not tolerate it at all in my classroom, end of story. You choose to torment a fellow classmate for your own pleasure and I’ll be sure as hell to make sure you don’t get to play outside with your friends, pass that test, or hand in any assignments late. Oh…and I have a direct line to your parents via my phone. Cut the shit, grow up and focus on what you’re in school for…an education.
Now, with that said…the non-teacher in me says this:
ENOUGH WITH THIS CRAP ABOUT THIS KID!! FOR FUCKS SAKE I’VE HEARD IT ALL OVER FACEBOOK AND FROM EVERYONE THAT IS WRITING ON THEIR FREAKING HANDS AND CRAP, “NOH8”.
You make strong points here…
Its the new generation I guess,I had a ton of issues in school and never once thought of offing myself,eventually I came to the conclusion that if you just start agreeing with what people say about you and saying something even worse about yourself (knowing that its all bullshit) it will drive them crazy but I guess you have to be a strong person to do that. There is always another option in life besides suicide,unless you have some sort of terminal illness…its the cowards way out.
Without turning this thread into a “suicide debate”, I must say that irregardless of the kids sexual orientation, the main issue was bullying.
I’d like to know what steps were taken on behalf of his teachers, his parents, administration, the “bully’s” parents, etc.
Somehow, somewhere along this path, someone dropped the ball. And for those of you saying that kids these days are soft? Guess what? Every generation is. These kids are no different today than they were when I was growing up, and no different than when my parents were growing up.
The difference is their exposure to each other. Between cell phones (texting, pictures, etc), social media sites (Facebook, Myspace, FormSpring, etc) they have a greater opportunity to establish a particular “hate” on someone.
Before, you didn’t like someone, you made fun of them in the hall way and passed notes around in class. Now, you send a mass text to 40+ of your friends, create a Facebook hate page, edit pictures to mock them, post statuses about them, tag them in pictures, write on their walls…the list doesn’t end.
My gripe is that with all this talk about prevention, awareness and what not, where was the school district when everything was out there on the internet, in the classroom and in the halls?
Sig worthy. :tup:
Bullying sucks, but like most things it’s a part of life. Human nature keeps us running as a pack because there is strength in numbers and we cast out those who don’t seem to fit the mold (probably for some primal subconscious form of genetic selection, like women who look at men as having favorable genes). Those who would have been cast out then would have had little chance of sending on their genes.
Anyway, genetic selection theory aside, bullying today has shifted from a survival role to a mental survival role. Our society has become so cerebral that really if you think about it it’s not surprising that bullying has led to more mental breakdowns, life long personal issues, effects people probably more than they realize or care to admit shaping the person they are in adult hood and some suicides. Bullying takes on many forms but in my experience the majority of it comes in the form of verbal and emotional abuse as most, and I say most, people know the limits and consequences of physical abuse.
As a kid just trying to navigate life in what seems to be an ever changing flux from childhood to later adulthood, to add bullying to that list of hurdles just sucks. However everything we experience shapes us and how we deal with it shapes us more. Some people feel so out of control of their life that they take it. Maybe to feel like they had some control of their destiny. I don’t agree with suicide but can understand where that feeling comes in.
I don’t agree with bullying, but I do agree with nature taking it’s course and doing things to stand up for yourself or help your children stand up for themselves. I’m sure the parents were doing what they thought was right. I’m sure that this kid felt that suicide was the only solution. I have no idea what being a kid with this much access to technology and social media would do. There is a serious disconnect between growing up innocent and experiencing life first hand and a total connect to experiencing life second hand through the internet and others. Growing up with that much social media in the hands of kids who sort of know better but might not understand the consequences of being an asshole must surely not be easy.
However we cannot simply tell our kids and the next generation to abandon those tools just because we didn’t grow up with them and feel like they shouldn’t need them. To do that would handy cap them in the world they have to navigate, one we did not. Times have changed and if we want to help our kids get a leg up then the best thing we can do is to educate ourselves on the pros, cons and proper usage of these social media. Guiding them in their wide use and making them aware that these tools might be used against them someday and show them how to cope best with that abuse.
Strong parents make strong kids. Bullying is a fact of life, while not right, it happens. If these kids have a strong home life they will have a much better chance at weathering this and in ways other than suicide.
suicide is fucking stupid forever. unless you’re actually better off dead.
bullying is a fact of life. Calling it bullying is too narrow a scope though.
the issue is managing CONFLICT… bullying is just one example.
if you cant handle some bullying as a teenager how are you going to handle real conflict as an adult.
i continue to have no sympathy whatsoever for suiciders. do not care if he was bullied, depressed or if he was paid $1,000,000 / year to skate around on a hockey rink bullying people.