My job is so fukking unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by first telling you about the folks I work with:
First, there is this supermodel wanna-be chick. Yeah, okay, she is pretty hot, but damn is she completely useless. The girl is constantly fixing her hair or putting on makeup. She is extremely self-centered and has never once considered the needs or wants of anyone but herself. She is as dumb as a box of rocks, and I still find it surprising that she has enough brain power to continue to breathe.
The next chick is completely the opposite. She might even be one of the smartest people on the planet. Her career oppertunities are endless, and yet she is here with us. She is a zero on a scale of 1 to 10. I’m not sure she even showers, much less shaves her “womanly” parts. I think she might be a lesbian, because every time we drive by the hardware store, she moans like a cat in heat.
But the jewel of the crowd has got to be the fukking stoner. And this guy is more than just your average pothead. In fact, he is baked before he comes to work, during work, and I’m sure after work. He probably hasn’t been sober anytime in the last ten years, and he’s only 22. He dresses like a beatnik throwback from the 1960’s, and to make things worse, he brings his big fukking dog to work. Every fukking day I have to look at this huge Great Dane walk around half-stoned from the second-hand smoke. Hell, sometimes I even think it’s trying to talk with its constant bellowing. Also, both of them are constantly hungry, requiring multiple stops to McDonalds and Burger King, every single fukking day.
Anyway, I drive these fuktards around in my van and we solve mysteries and shit.
You hate the hot girl because she won’t let you in her pants even though she’s lighter than air. So as a last resort you tried to hook up with fugly mcfug and she denied your request, so you keep telling yourself she’s a lesbian to make your self feel better. And lastly you hate the pothead because he managed to hook up with both of them at the same time, after baking them out and not offering you any of the leftovers…So here you are on Shift, to complain about your “job”.
I got you beat… I just had a lady, the site contact none the less, take down a file and print server for the state… looking for a noise in the server room.
My job is great, I love it and the people I work with. Real laid back, down to earth people, make my own hours. I wish it paid more but that’ll come in time. I applied for Product Development Engineer, I do a lot of the work our old guy did so I have a shot. We shall see…
