Let me ask you a simple question, what would you call deaths in a war started on false pretenses? You state that your friends did not die in vein, but they’re fighting for a people who do not want them.
I too have friends over in Iraq and all of them have said “the Iraqis don’t give a shit about us”. So let me ask you another question, how do you win a war if the people you are fighting for don’t want you there?