safe saw?

[Dex]

“My client, the paraplegic Mr. Jones, who is both blind and deaf and suffers from Parkinson’s disease was using your saw in the dark on a small raft during hurricane Katrina. Shortly after his adopted 500lb father-in-law resumed sodomizing him with a baseball bat my client, who has a remarkably comprehensive health insurance policy, received an injury that took no less than zero stitches to close as a result of a faulty braking mechanism on your so called ‘SafeSaw’. As a result, we feel that Mr. Jones is entitled to no less than 50 Million Dollars”

did you people not read this post? it was fucking gold