Found this on another forum, Enjoy!
Some say His first name really is “The”.
Some say He drinks a lot of petrol.
Some say He was born in space.
Some say He never blinks.
Some say He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.
Some say He sleeps upside down like a bat.
Some say His sweat can be used to clean precious metals.
Some say He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.
Some say He is scared of bells.
Some say He once punched a horse to the ground.
Some say He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.
Some say His heart ticks like a watch.
Some say All his legs are hydraulic.
Some say He can “accumbularate”.
Some say He appears on Japanese banknotes.
Some say There’s an airport in Russia named after him.
Some say His breath smells of magnesium.
Some say His tears are adhesive.
Some say He urinates 98 RON petrol.
Some say He can smell corners.
Some say He has acid for blood.
Some say Jimmy Carter wants him dead.
Some say He has a bionic arm.
Some say He has a tattoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.
Some say He is stumped by clouds.
Some say He has no fear.
Some say His ears aren’t exactly where you would expect them to be.
Some say He once, “preposterously”, had an affair with John Prescott.
Some say He has a digital face.
Some say If he felt like it, he could fire Alan Sugar.
Some say He has named every single blade of grass surrounding the Top Gear test track.
Some say His genitals are on upside down.
Some say His ears have a paisley lining.
Some say He is banned from the Chelsea Flower Show.
Some say The outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring.
Some say If given an important job to do, he’ll skive off and play croquet.
Some say He invented Branston Pickle.
Some say On really warm days he sheds his skin, like a snake.
Some say For some reason he’s allergic to the Dutch.
Some say If he went on Celebrity Love Island, they’d all be pregnant - including the cameramen.
Some say He once threw a microwave oven at a tramp.
Some say Long before anyone else, he realized that Jay Goody was a racist pig-faced waste of blood and organs.
Some say He once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner.
Some say He was in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal.
Some say If you lick his chest it tastes exactly the same as picalilly.
Some say At this week’s Brit Awards, he was arrested for goosing Russell Brand.
Some say He sucks the moisture from ducks.
Some say His crash helmet is modeled after Britney Spears’ head.
Some say He isn’t machine washable.
Some say All his potted plants are called Steve.
Some say His scrotum has its own small gravity field.
Some say Because our producer rigged a phone vote, he now has a new name…all we know is, he’s called Cuddles.
Some say He’s banned from the town of Chichester.
Some say In a recent late night deal he bought a slightly dented white Fiat Uno from the Duke of Edinburgh.
Some say He gets terrible ezcema on his helmet.
Some say If he’d been the video ref in the World Cup Rugby Final he would’ve seen that it was of course a try you blind Australian half-wit.
Some say To unlock him you have to run your finger down his face.
Some say If he were getting divorced from Paul McCartney he’d keep his stupid whining mouth shut.
Some say He thought Star Wars was a documentry.
Some say He recently pulled out of I’m a Celebrity because he’s frightened of trees…and Australia…Koo Stark…and Ant…and Dec…
Some say He knows two facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong.
Some say 61 years ago he accidently introduced Her Majesty, the Queen, to a Greek racialist.
Some say When he slows down, brake lights come on in his buttocks.
