So I’m leaving work tonight, and notice 2 people pushing some co-worker’s car of whom of which I never met car. Apparently they are trying to push start it because the battery is dead which failed because the ECU had no power and it’s a 99 Cavalier that is falling apart so of course it’s not going to start. So some random guy in an izuzu with pimp strobe flashers pulls up. And rocks out with the mad pimpage and grabs his nifty Jumppackthinggy. So they get it running and note the battery light. Of couse the woman, and the husband know shit about cars said they would be fine.
However I looking at the lack of general light from the car once it was running knew better when I was driving behind them. So instead of taking the 190S home I decide to hop on the 190N and see if they make it past the construction on the 198 on-ramp then take the 33. Of course they don’t even make it past the tolls because:
A. Cavalier’s blow
B. Eletricity makes the world go round
C. A Cavalier making it that far under it’s own power would be the 8th wonder of the world.
But I digress because we’ll get to how much they really suck soon enough. So the pull over the flashers don’t do anything. So naturally I use my 1337sauce working because I have 13.8 volts and you have <2volt flashers.
I rummage through the back forgetting I have no jumper cables. Well shit… But I have a tow rope so me being the nice tool that I am offer to take them to the next exit. So we hook that to my pimp-tow hook. And to the Cavi’s tow-ohwaitwehidthehook so use the subframe setup because the owner wasn’t bright I warned about the damage before-hand. So we did, I told them they would have to STAND on the brakes to make it slow down. But not before I took a nice bump to the head from the owner why making sure the rope wasn’t dragging.
So I use my maddddd 4cyl. torque to tow the beastly Cavalier down the road. Expect a quick shot up the 198 to the 2nd exit that is up-hill. But oh what is this apparently the on-ramp is completely closed off. And now it’s one lane of construction going 20, just great. So I speed it up a bit. At the end of the construction the driver of the other car panics. And puts it in gear to slow it down. Probably 3rd and not 5th I feel a hard jerk to the right. And the rope snaps so I thought. But wait why do I hear the tow hook?
So we pull over 20 feet from the exit. I get out look at the rope, I’m puzzled the rope while a bit frayed from hot towing action was fine. So we look under the cavalier and realize that GM blows at makeing cars, and basic welds too as the welds on the front of the sub-frame gave out.
Great… So I look under the car a bit later I’m like “lol, towing point” We attach the rope and pull up the exit. Almost home free get to a stop light, and start to go. BANG And the rope checks out like Cher should have 40 years ago. And it broke right in the middle, and the hook part was damaged. So much for that I pull off to the side. We push it to a shady bank, on a shady corner, under a shady tree on Niagara St.
At this point I’m like yay? And offer them a ride home. Of course like everyone where I work they too are in a financial bind of ramen proportions. So I was offered $10 after paychecks tomarrow. As well as company wide recognition most likely for being a takes-it-in-the-ass do-gooder which won’t really help pay my bills or get me a promotion.
Anywho on the drive home we all agree Cavilers blow, and that Yugos are much better. They are thankful to be home as it’s their “week-end” and I have to be up in a few hours for my 2nd job. And my head hurts like hell from that bump I took from the owner. But oddly enough I’m not pissed, and confused why I like to take it in the ass for perfect strangers. I should hate myself for being the nice guy who gets walked on all the time but I don’t. :bloated:
On the plus side the towing hook on the wagon didn’t even seem to show a hint of damage not even a bend. :tup:
Cliffs:
-Subaru tow-hooks > Cavalier subframe > Tow-rope.
-Convinced someone to sell their heap of a car.
+1 Karma
-I like it in the ass from random strangers, because I’m the nice guy for no reason.
-Everyone loves the rofflecopter! 
EDIT: I’m totally eating the remains of a sub now and going to sleep so I can rant about Wal-Mart tomarrow. :tup:
