dear tiger,
thank you for getting married and banging random white bitches. Had you pulled a derek jeter and stayed single–no one would have given a fuck about how many ho’s you bang. Yet due to all the back lash from you being married and banging ho’s your sponsors have dropped you from public image.
as a result, i can now purchase your tasty, refreshing 32 oz gatorade at big lots for a big discount–only 50 cents per 32 oz bottle. same shit i pay 1.89 a bottle for at the convenience store is remarkably cut down to 50 cents!!! my, how the mighty have fallen. Yet i benefit from you. So thanks
sincerely
me