We need to ship you over into the heart of T.O. ASAP, we’ll keep you in a cage or something… never seeing daylight, and never let out of the cage unless you’re wrenching or welding–that way, you can help all these suckers get their cars back on the ground. 
I’ll feed you motor oil, and transmission fluid. You’ll officially be dubbed: “Toronto Nissan Club’s” MIG, affluently named after Top Gear’s Stig, but you’ll be working the wrench instead!