All that is MAN!

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3168/2352678687_644c609d1b.jpg

matches
gasoline
her shit
pyromania…
is a hobby, not a condition

Dirt Tracks
Strip Clubs
Nyspeed
???
Profit

Maple Flavored Bacon

I’d like to take a moment to rant on a few things that are relevant to this thread. most comments targeted towards women however im am sure alot applies to people on here.

first…

what the fuck is the point of women who dont want children? Am i alone when i suggest that the physical ability to bare children implies an obligation to do so?

them - “but i want a career”

me - “STFU, the glass ceiling exists for reasons other than the fact that, by and large, women are complete fucking idiots. In fact, i’m surprised women ever even figured out that the glass ceiling existed.”

them - “i want to make use of my education and contribute financially.”

me - "Wrong, women are better of having children earlier rather than waiting and her is why. The glass ceiling is not simply an ‘old boys club’ mechanism. It is a sociological response to women’s societal obligation to bare children. Women in their mid - late 20’s and early 30’s will have difficulty being promoted regardless of intellect because management will defend against giving raise, promotion and greater accountability to a women who is in prime child bearing years because she SHOULD be making babies. However, if a women makes babies, and lots of them because having 2 kids or less is fucking stupid, and send the kids off to school + re-enters work force at say 35 she has completed her obligation and can be taken seriously when she says: “i’m done with babies”, as compared to: “i’m not ready for babies yet”

them - “that’s not fair”

me - “Fuck fair. And why are we eating take-out when we spent $10k on a goddamn kitchen? why dont we board it up and put up pictures of pretty cupboards and appliances on the new walls. Same fucking thing. Then we can extract the kitchen from the home and lower our taxible square footage.”

them - “raising a baby is hard, i need help”

me - "basically every single women in the history of earth has borne and raised at least one child, therefore it cannot be that hard. Many women have raised several children at the same time so let me know how hard it is when you’re faced with that… oh, and they didnt have micro-waves, TV, cell phones, day care, SUV’s, cold butter, nursing bras, disposable diapers, or a home with a concrete foundation.

Moreover, how many women have a university education? alot fewer than those who have babies… so which is harder? how about running their own businesses? fewer than the university thing, get the point? i could go on… shut up"

them - “why do you not respond when i say something, i just wanna talk”

me - “i dont want to argue, and what the hell else am i supposed to say when you are talking about the most retarded bullshit i have ever heard in my life. Christ, stick two women in a room together and i can only imagine the wonderous idiocy that spews forth. Seriously, my only available response is “you are a fucking moron”. Would you like to have a conversation about that? No? good, so don’t get mad when i dont repsond to you, it’s for your own benefit. Thank god i find you attractive, it’s basically the only thing you have going for you at the moment”

them - “in 30 - 33, time to think about getting married and starting a family”

me - “Too late bitch. Miscarriage rates increase dramatically after 30 years of age. It’s also harder to conceive. I have 4-6 different colleagues or family members who, at that age, were trying to years at a time, resorted to fertility drugs in some case, and many still have not been able to conceive. More importantly, even if you did want a larger family you now cannot have it. Yes it’s possible to bare children in your 40’s but considering your previous career aspirations and the resulting life-style choices you will find it nigh on impossible to make said compromises for the next decade while you catch up.”

them - “but i wasn’t ready”

me - "fuck ready, what is with people needing to be ‘ready’ to make necessary and important decisions. The reason why you dont have the job you want or the home or education you want is entirely your own fault and has nothing to do with being ready. Try harder.

Do you want to know how to prepare yourself to have a baby? have a fucking baby, that will get you ready. Wanna know how to prepare yourself for marriage? be a fucking adult. Don’t think you can afford a baby and a home to keep it in… two things, first off, that’s your own fault for not making enough money or spending too much of it. secondly, crash course in budgeting… just fucking do it and make it work you goddamn faggot.

let me introduce an interesting term for you: Gold Collar. look it up, it’s your own fault and you are the only one that can do anything about it. more importantly though is that you deserve the hardships so watch me feel really bad for you."

them - “Equality, i expect to be an equal partner”

me - "Fuck this equality bullshit. What are you a fucking communist? Consider this relationship in an industrial setting and every person has a differnet job. It’s the concept of specialization, you do what you are best suited to and while i may be developing bitch-tits they still dont give off milk. this goes right back to my first point, the ability to bare a child implies the obligation to do so.

The erosion of traditional gender roles coincides quite nicely with the increase in the divorce rate, now over 50%, and the subequent increase in teenage suicide. maybe it’s not related, maybe children from happy homes kill themselves just as freuqently as those from shitty homes.

But hey, maybe the car we drive is a better reflection of our life’s achievement than the actions of our children. therefore, lets keep you working so we can afford to lease nicer cars, not have children until we are financially ‘ready’. Then when we realize that competitive and conspicuous consumption are mutally exclusive from this concept of being ‘financially ready’ we’ll just have to tough it up and settle for a 1-2 child family and never ending debt."

/end rant but it will continue.

btw this is not me vs. my wife.

holy shit.

lol.

:bigclap::bigclap::bigclap::bigclap::bigclap:

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e159/j_espo1/m_e2d5d9385dfe51628b38b025d2dafaaf.gif

http://i39.photobucket.com/albums/e159/j_espo1/jasonbritton2.jpg

WOW @ bing LMAO!! That was the most hilarious thing i’ve read all freakin morning! :tup:

nice bing!

omg bing LOL

Fantastic and completely on point Bing

Labor
Cars
Johnny Walker Red
NYSpeed
Pulled Pork

edit::Wow, Bing… :LOL:

guns
girls
bikes
beer
wet t shirts

:clap: Trash

Bing just trumped this thread

I and a pound of bacon agree.

Proof.

BING > *

/ thread.

after reading your rant, i find it hard to believe you have a wife.

p.s. awesome