This Saturday, after much scrambling and cancelation, the North East Quattro Club was finally able to nail down a venue for it’s first annual winter driving event. The venue for this was Caroga Lake, in the Adirondak State Park.
BIG THANKS to the Pella Window Corp. for making Jeller work the home show and let me take his spot:bigtup: Without that, I might have had to stay home and do some actual work or something. The sign up was an absolute abortion and I had all but given up on doing one of these this year due to that and the lack of winter. But, the gods shone down upon this asshole and he was able to get one in.
Friday was the day that I was to shove off. But first, I had to get the car ready for it’s cross state journey. First step, pack up my tool kit.
Big ass zip ties
Next-check the air in the tires.
Meh-it’s a rear one and I’m running late, 10psi is good enough.
Packed up the car neatly. Not a place I’d rather spend the next 4 hours.
Put on some new wipers
There was something about the car needing to have a rear view mirror but I missed that memo
Oh look, the air fairy made an appearance. Zip tie a result of last years event.
So now I’m finally on my way. Gassed up and ready for whatever comes my way. And for an added bonus, my tach started to work-SWEET!!!
On the 90 at the Pembroke service station I met up with HNJ(hook nose Jew) aka “Whalen” and off we went. The drive there was really uneventful but I am officially deaf from 75-80mph with an exhaust leak that sends exhaust gasses up the engine bay, grille, and for added good measure, the rear muffler is basically just for decoration. SWEET
They were calling for a snow storm overnight in Canajoharie that night and I was all excited for it. This is the result of the Weather Channel’s storm
Woke up early to swap my tires as my lugs were essentially fused to my powder aluminum wheels-AWESOME. But, I’m in for a day of asshating and nothing is going to get me down so it’s fine. I even had time to write a little message to all you wrong wheel drivers
The two cases that are worth more then the car they are next to
Partner in crime
We had a short 20 minute drive to the lake from our hotel for the morning meeting. On the way we drove through Amish country on 10n. tried to get Jebediah here to do a lap or two on the lake but he wasn’t having it
Realized that my studes were WELDED to my wheels and I needed a breaker bar and my 4 foot jack handle to break them loose. But, I got my studded tires on and I was a happy asshole.
This is where the morning meeting was as well as lunch
So, after talking us to fucking death in the morning, we finally got out and did the events they had for us, skid pad and slalom with the road course being in the afternoon.
Oh boy, I’m getting close to the ice, I can hardly contain myself
Some of the cars in attendance
2 fails in one picture
This muther fucker!!! I wanted to see this car fucking fall through a crack as it sucked SO HARD. And, to make it even worse, it was a shared car, meaning the hubby, and the wife, both drove it so there was no escaping the fail. I fucking counted 3 spins in a 4 lap time period, and that was only the ones I could see. Fucking utter suck to the power of 100.
Seeing him on the skid pad with his rear wheels locked was pretty comical
Probabally the only student there worth a fuck was the woman who was driving this Evo. She was good.
Sweet car but you suck
B8 S4 driver=SUCK
Waiting to go out on the slalom
This is whyI don’t believe in a god. I had to wait for this disaster to get on the skid pad.All seasons and FWD=SUCK. Fuck you Jam and your Accord nut swinging, I wanted to put a pipe bomb in this car.
Yeah RS4 asshole-thanks for drag racing me into a corner on a straight cause I was really wondering if you had the faster car with more hp. Fuck you though as I passed you sideways in a turn and then walked your ass with 115hp.
Old Quattro’s never die, they go to
My heap of shit was on it’s second chance 24857482975 chances ago.
HNJ giving a lesson on the skid pad
OH NO!!! Speaking of second chances, I see HNJ with his hood up and thought this can’t be good.
Fan relay decided to take a walk, it got hot as that radiator is only about 5" thick and 3 times bigger then the stock one for the MASSIVE 2.2L of fury and puked some coolant. So, I took him to get some water and see if it could be saved.
What establishment wouldn’t want this parked in front of it?
My FAVORITE car in the world was there
6speed with 4 studded tires. Sounded as good as a chick climaxing and then squirting all over your sheets good. And not just alittle stain, I’m talking it looks like she pissed on your bed and then spilled a gallon of water on it good.
And, I still walked on you when I snuck out with the instructor group.
Just go home
Found a car that looked worse then mine, almost. This car was FLYING around the road course. Sounded great too with a VR6 and a very short exhaust system.
Then this guy fired up his rig
Another 4000 Quattro on the road course
Started to snow at the end of the day
Another dealer working hard on the weekend
Snow on the side windows means you are driving sideways which is correct
How you accomplish sideways driving
Some asshole taped my beautiful car and ruined my bumper. I took lots of pictures to document it for the insurance claim
So I busted out the tool kit and had it repaired in no time
Past and present “fixes”
So, it was time to head out.
A quick roadside fix. I kept thinking of “Dueling Banjo’s” so the repair was made rather quickly. Something about a live wire dragging. Don’t worry, we wrapped it around the metal fuel lines in the engine bay so it’s safe for 4 hours.
So I’m driving home and I’m starting to get really tired between Rochester and Buffalo. I swore I kept seeing little red flashes out my side view mirror but thought I must just be imagining it. Turns out I was dragging my tailpipe the whole way home.
And fixed-I kicked it under the car. Out of sight, out of mind.
Look at all the miles I put on this weekend getting there and on the road course
Oh thats right, my odometer and most of the other things in the car don’t actually work. Bummer
So the road course. .8 miles and for the first time around we are told to treat it like a safety lap and not pass and we have to go out with an instructor. So, I unfortunately get Bruce, the big cheese. Great. I managed to drive it like a safety lap for about half of 1st gear, then said fuck it. Point by passes-FUCK YOU!!! Fucking assholes didn’t even have their windows down. So I start to asshat around the course and I can see him clinging on to my door handle for dear life. I passed on the inside, in turns, sideways into turns, sideways out of turns, sideways though the whole turn, etc etc. He didn’t say a damn thing as I was 10 times the driver he was.
Second time around the course and I see him at my car again-FUCK!!! So this time I’m even more big balled and driving the whole course essentially as a drift course. Straights were down sideways. Passes were done sideways. I passed the fail S2000 and was looking at her out my drivers side window as I slide by and waved. Then, the last lap flag flies and when we are heading in, I get pointed to park near all the guys running the event. I got told that people are worried about my driving. “i’m worried about their driving, I’ve got this.” “Well, blah blah blah” “Ok, I’ll tone it down, I don’t want to ruin anyone’s time.” Then Bruce tells me next time out, I’m going to have to get a point by signal to pass. LAME. I think what did it was everyone was stuck behind the S2000-GO FIGURE, and the GTi was next followed by about 5 other cars. So, the dumb durka durkette was not giving a point by to anyone, not that I was waiting for one to pass, so I just weaved through everyone and enjoyed glorious open ice.
Third time they send the cars out reverse rotation on the track. I wait for the lane to be clear and drive out solo like I’ve wanted to all day. So it’s HNJ leading and me following. Seeing as we were the first 2 cars out, we have the track to ourselves for a bit. HNJ has Alan in his car, one of the few instructors who could actually drive. So I’m right on his bumper, sliding a few feet back at full speed. I know he isn’t going to screw up and he knows I’m fine so it was PERFECT. I look down as I had NO CLUE how fast I was going and there I am, sliding sideways at about a 40 degree angle at 60mph on glare ice while being in COMPLETE and total control. I got a “great job out there” from Alan so I know I must be doing something right.
Would I do it again-Meh, this club is really a bunch of disorganized wankers that just love to talk something to death. Explain something until the end of time, but, experience is the best teacher. Shut the fuck up and let us get out on the ice. No, I don’t need you to hold my hand as I was passing every instructor. No, we don’t need to do skid and slalom for half the day, the road course is where you should devote more time. But, all in all, any day spent 90% sideways is a great time. I’d love to do something like this but make it a private thing and not do it with the NEQ.
