http://charlotte.craigslist.org/cto/2201300558.html
in case it gets taken down:
PRICED ABOVE KBB! 200X Something Something! BST DL EVR! UBAI NAO!#$*) - $1 (E'rrywhurr)For Sale 20XX Something Motors Something-or-other. I don’t know what year it is, or really how to pronounce the make.
But, YOU NEED THIS KAR! Its like the truck you wanted, the suv your wife wanted, the van you need for the kids, and the sports car of your dreams all balled into one utterly unsafe mis-matched tire’d dented to scrap, no-optioned, seats are torn, exhaust drags, windows are super dark tinted, might even still have an ounce under the seat, CRUISER WAGONSUVSPORTSCARTRUCKVAN!I won’t even give you an idea of the condition, how it runs, or tell you if it has had ANY maintenance. Chances are the answers are poor, bad, and none ever.
I’m not going to tell you the mileage, but you can guess that it’s REALLY high, especially for the year. Might even be over 200,000! How awesome is that?!?!? Its like a living testament that you don’t need to maintain things and they keep on ticking! Kind of like that old uncle Jerry that smokes two packs a day, drinks a 6’er on lunch, but somehow is still swearin’ cussin’ and spitin’ at 98! ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG, RIGHT??!!!
I have to sell this because I have a wonderful long story that you are going to read then immediately wonder if you could have that one minute of your life back because you REALLY DON’T CARE! This isn’t Dr.Phill (or is it Dr.Phibb?)! But I want you to know that my family is dysfunctional, I lost my job, my ol’ lady is a hoe, my kids are in awful heath, and I’m going in for surgery next week- probably for something I contracted in this very car! Hope you’ve got good health insurance!
So don’t email me because I’m not going to answer- but I’m still not going to “hide email” when I create the ad, since I really don’t understand what that means… Call me at my cousin Ray-Ray’s tracphone, the number is 555-555-5501. He has no idea I put his number here, so expect him to be really rude, just ask for pooky’s boo’s babydaddy and you’ll get me. Just make sure to call after 9pm cuz he’s all outta anytime minutes.
You’re still wondering how much the car is right?? We’ll I’m STILL not going to tell you. HA! You can make an assumption that since I used $1 in the field where I’m supposed to put the price, I want WAY more then you’re willing to pay. But I want you to bother Ray-Ray and have an awkward conversation with me (since I’m the ultimate salesman- I actually work at the DeadSea kiosk at the mall on the weekends), and I’ll get you to hand over way too much for this gigantic turd of a car. SO get on it! Call me and come give me dat loot!!
Tags (because what awful ad is void of tags???!?!) acura vigor 7-series beemer fubu birdman lugs grippp dougie steelers suX skittles twinkies twix DUB 22" 26" 24" crownvic cutty SS turbow watermelon grits iced tea purple drank black n yellow 2JZ w/NAS Orly!??! the block is hot FRONTDOTNET RAWFULDAWTCALM nascar jackets streetbikez TWO fast too furious bodEKyt killa beez etc etc (who am I kidding? you’d never see “etc” here, but its funny so I’m leaving it).Oh wait, I forgot to metion RAT ROD (what POS doesn’t mention RAT ROD$!??!! FYI- thats code for the paint is shot, its missing the hub caps and I superglued some crap i found at a garage sale to the dash.)
