Best of Craigslist

A guy defines his terms…

http://spokane.craigslist.org/rnr/382787442.html

nice

:rofl:

Sometimes you just have to look yourself in the mirror and say, “yep, I’m fat. Not cute chubby, just really fat.”

:rofl:

but but I am cute chubby

:naughty:

:rofl:

:rofl:

Think he’s gay? I think he must be gay. Who besides gays have gay friends? I bet he’s gay.

Quoting before some asshole marks it for removal like EVERY good ad that gets posted.

Awesome, I’m glad to see there are a ton of women surfing craigslist and find me attractive. Let’s clear a few things up though.

-If I post in the casual encounters section, it means I want to have sex with you. I’m not looking to date, I’m not looking to get married, usually I don’t even care about your life story. Let me say that again, casual encounters does not equal dating, it equals sexing. If you want a relationship go look at men seeking women.

-If I say, “I don’t want kids” this means I don’t have any and don’t want to be around yours. I don’t care how cute you think they are.

-If I say, “420 friendly” this means I like a little bit of pot here and there. This does not mean that I want to smoke meth with you. Fucking crackheads.

-If I tell you I’d be interested in meeting up for drinks this means a quiet cocktail somewhere private, not getting fucked up at your cousin’s friend’s uncle’s girlfriend’s house on cheap beer.

-I don’t want to meet your friends the first time we hang out.

-If I say, “No guys please” this means I have a gay friend or two but am totally straight, don’t care about your “str8” fantasies and am looking only for a girl. I’m a breast man, can’t lie.

-If I say, “bbw’s are ok” this means like a size 12/14, absolutely nothing above 170lbs or a dress size in the mid 20s. Sometimes you just have to look yourself in the mirror and say, “yep, I’m fat. Not cute chubby, just really fat.”

-If I say, “std free” this doesn’t mean that I’m willing to hook up with you even though your herpes aren’t currently flaring up. Sorry you have it, I do feel bad for you.

-If I post an age range and you’re 10 years above that, I’m not going to think you’re still “zesty” or “vibrant” as you put it, just purely old.

-I don’t want to have sex with your wife while you watch and maybe join in. Jesus.

-One liners like, “what are you looking for?” get ignored. You read my ad, introduce yourself a little in one or two paragraphs, tell me what you’re interested in (oral for example).

-Don’t say, “I don’t have a picture”. Bullshit. You saw mine, let’s see yours. Everybody has access to a camera phone these days. Or Kinkos will scan your polaroid and email it to you for a mere dollar.

To every normal person who wrote in, thanks!
-Mid twenties guy in Spokane.