"Best Post evaR" Hall of Fame - NYSPEED Edition

[focusinprogress]

from the Political Science, for Dummies thread

@Daddie

Cuban Crisis

You have no cows.

You conjur up a cow in your head and boast to everyone on the internet how you have a cow, and when you milk it, money comes out of it’s ass.

You buy another cow, saying that you will pay with the money that comes out of your conjoured cow’s ass, but you have to wait until the end of the month because “I don’t like to milk my (imaginary) cow too many times a month.” You don’t pay, and you run away with the other guy’s cow to another state.

You dress up your cow that you fled with as Supercow, and photoshop that cow getting saved by itself dressed up as Supercow from a villian cow, who is also, that same cow. That same cow makes a myspace page and begins to believe it is Supercow.

Meanwhile, the imaginary cow in your head is now complaining that you aren’t paying attention to it enough, so you upgrade the imaginary cow to a flying cow. You tell people all over the farm that you have a flying cow, and it really knows how to fly.

Then you change your story about your cow.

Using photoshop, you create a picture of your imaginary cow all dressed up and tell people that “it’s the model cow on all of the milk cartons”, but people all know, that cow is way too ugly to be a model cow.

The real cow you stole tries to sign onto NYSpeed, and gets banned repeatedly, even when you dress up your cow in different costumes.