booty call agrement

Found this on 98 Rock’s website. Pretty funny.

The Bootie Call Contract is here for you:

This Booty Call agreement (hereinafter referred to as the “Agreement”) is entered into as of the _____ day of__________, 2002.THIS AGREEMENT SHALL COVER THE FOLLOWING RULES AND PRINCIPLES:

  1. No sleeping over - UNLESS IT IS VERY GOOD AND WE NEED TO REPEAT IT IN THE MORNING.

  2. No meeting in public except for dinner or drinks before the events of the evening.

  3. No calls before 9pm (we do not have anything to talk about)

.4. None of that “lovemaking” stuff–strictly mind-blowing sex allowed.

  1. No emotional discussions… (Ex. Where are we heading with this? Do you love me? - Hell no- so do not ask stupid questions.

)6. No plans made in advance … that is why you are called the “backup” unless you are from out of town-then its only a one time advanced arrangement.

  1. All gifts accepted (money and diamonds are always good).

  2. No baby talk (however, dirty talk is encouraged).

  3. No asking for comparisons with former lovers (it is really none of your damn business).

  4. No kissing, it’s too intimate (except to other body parts).

  5. No calling each other “friends with benefits” (we are not friends just sex buddies).

  6. Calling out the wrong name during sex is OK (do not be offended).

  7. No extra clothing (I do not want your ass leaving anything behind when you leave).

  8. No falling asleep right after sex (get your ass up and go home).

  9. Don’t be offended if I do not ask if you enjoyed it (I do not care).

  10. You cannot borrow my car for any reason.

  11. If anyone asks who you are, the standard response will be, “My roommate’s girlfriend/boyfriend”.

  12. Doggie style preferred (just hit it hard and right or get the hell out).

  13. Reason for doggie style: the less eye contact the better (do not want to look at your ass - just want to have sex with you).

  14. We hook up absolutely whenever the mood strikes ME (so do not keep calling damn it).

  15. The most important one - (NO CONDOMS-NO SEX).22. Bring your own drink (I am not your liquor store).

  16. No phone usage please (do not want anyone calling back looking for your ass).*

EXTRA TIP FOR SUCCESSFUL BOOTY CALLS:The aforementioned rules may only be altered by the holder of the agreement. If the other party attempts to change or alter any terms of this Agreement, this Agreement will automatically become null and void and you will then be removed from the BOOTY CALL LIST and deleted from phone memory and email list. You will be BLOCKED from all communications until your silly ass understands the rules. Participating Party Signature: _________________________________ Date: __________Participating Party Signature: _________________________________ Date: __________


whoa man, that was almost a funny!:zzz:

Originally posted by Shaggy
whoa man, that was almost a funny!:zzz:
x2

Originally posted by Shaggy
whoa man, that was almost a funny!:zzz:

x3 boooo

wow ,that would be cool for someone still in high school:rolleyes:

Originally posted by Vapor Trail
wow ,that would be cool for someone still in high school:rolleyes:

lol… you didnt get any booty calls back then either. :stuck_out_tongue:

Originally posted by 1320
lol… you didnt get any booty calls back then either. :stuck_out_tongue:

but woodward still is,opps i mean…

Originally posted by 1320
lol… you didnt get any booty calls back then either. :stuck_out_tongue:
:owned: :owned:

Originally posted by Vapor Trail
but woodward still is,opps i mean…

agghh man he is not even on this board leave the woodweird trash talk for the garage… besides it is not as fun when you cant watch him get all mad and wig out

pretty accurate… :cool: list