After reading the “Things shops tell newbs or unaware people” thread, it made me wonder what you people who work in IT or customer service have told people as excuses, reasons, etc.
One I know of is that we had a problem where our switch hardware when it auto negotiated speed with computers sent tons of traffic back and forth causing VERY slow network connections. One lady who was a dumb ass who wanted to know everything that went on we told that it was the Ohms on the line that were seeping out of the cables which we had to fix.
30 min later an email gets sent to the entire user mail list (about 3,500 people) saying that the problem was fixed and it was because of the ohms.
“My coffee holder won’t slide back in”
-Excuse me? Are you having a problem with you computer?
“Yeah, my coffee holder wont go back in when I push it in or press the button”
Not a problem. Tell Me, does the coffee holder have anything written on the front?
" Yeah hold on. It says Lite-On"
Ah, there’s your problem, you have a DUE error. You’re gonna want to call Lite-On, maker of the coffee holder, and let them know, I think they have a recall on that product and can get you squared away"
“Thanks!”