DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish… … …49.
Adventurous… … …Slept with everyone.
Athletic… … …No breasts.
Average looking… …Mo ooo.
Beautiful… … …Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure… …On medication.
Feminist… … …Fat.
Free Spirit… … …Junkie.
Friendship first… …F ormer Slut.
New-Age… … …Body hair in the wrong places.
Old-fashioned… … …No B.J.'s
Open-minded… … …Desperate.
Outgoing… … …Loud and embarrassing.
Professional… … …Bitch.
Voluptuous… … …Very fat.
Large frame… … …Hugely fat.
Wants soul mate… …Stal ker.
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN’S ENGLISH:
Yes…No
No…Yes
Maybe…No
We need…I want
I am sorry…You’ll be sorry
We need to talk…You’re in trouble
Sure, go ahead…You better not
Do what you want…You will pay for this later
I am not upset…Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You’re attentive tonight…Is sex all you ever think about?
DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN’S ENGLISH:
I am hungry…I am hungry
I am sleepy…I am sleepy
I am tired…I am tired
Nice dress…Nice cleavage!
I love you…Let’s have sex now
I am bored…Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?..I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?..I’d like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?..I’d like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?..I’d like to have sex with you.
I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit…I’m gay