Are you guys like me? You love thanksgiving leftovers but don’t have thanksgiving dinner at your own house so you’re out in the cold? Fuck that noise. Lets make some leftovers. How’s a whole godamned bird sound?
Step 1: Get a bird from Wegmans. A buck a pound. Can’t beat that. Grab some onions, beer, and a baster while you’re there.
Fuck waiting. That’s for women. Set the oven to 350 and get working. Hold that bitch under hot water while you fist fuck it and pull out anything that doesn’t seem like something you’d want to eat. Neck’s in one end, giblets in the other. Rinse it off good.
Now fill it with stuffing…
:uhh:
What? Turkey’s dry as fuck already, why would you stuff it full of shit that’ll suck more juice out? Quarter a bunch of onions and stuff that shit full. Don’t bother with stitching it together or any of that crap.
Don’t forget my secret ingredient: Beer. Dump a couple of bottles in/on/over that bird before you shove it in the oven.
Done. Baste her good every 30 seconds for the next 5-7 hours now. Maybe every half hour. Depends on how busy you are. I will be preparing for my econ final tomorrow, so I’ll be closer to ever 30 minutes than every 30 seconds.
Oh, and for all the gourmets out there: Yes, I’m doing everything wrong. Eat me. This is going to be delicious. :headbang:
I just spent the last hour fingering two turkeys to get all of the meat off. The carcass pieces are now sitting in a 5-6 gallon pot simmering down to make me a nice stock. I will soon be adding vegetables and meat to turn it into a nice broth. Sometime this weekend I will be cooking a third turkey to use as the meat in this soup. I may cook the bones from that one down just to have some extra broth.
