Hilarious Olympic Tweets from Sochi

In all seriousness, I do have a terrible feeling about something happening at the games this time around. Between the setting, the tension of political differences and the unprepared area just seems like a recipe for something awful

They accidentally $51B. The whole thing.

Because Russia

This is a bigger disaster than the russian trans-siberian railroad

Ok…so do not go outside…do not use the water…do not use toilet paper…do not use any electronic devices…have fun and welcome to Russia

Search for “Sochi toilet” and you’ll get some amazing results:

http://americablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/dont-flush-sochi-toilet.jpg

http://americablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sochi-toilet-audience.jpg

http://americablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sochi-toilet-6.jpg

http://americablog.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/sochi-toilet-4.jpg

http://www.canada.com/olympics/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/SOCHI_TWIN_TOILETS_213944314-930x600.jpg

http://img.gawkerassets.com/img/19ennvwskeytrjpg/ku-xlarge.jpg

You can use toilet paper, you just have to drop your shit covered paper in the little garbage bin that doesn’t even have a lid.

Seriously Russia… this is worse than your dashcam escapades.

heh, Bi-Athletes.

http://i.imgur.com/PoDSCZm.jpg

The new catch phrase is going to be, “OMG that is so Sochi”. Wait for it.

amazing

http://www.vocativ.com/02-2014/sochi-running-pillows/

It appears there aren’t enough pillows for the athletes in the Olympic Village. This news comes via the Instagram posts of Luiza Baybakova, a member of the catering staff for the games.

ATTENTION, DEAR COLLEAGUES!

Due to an extreme shortage of pillows for athletes who unexpectedly arrived to Olympic Village in the mountains, there will be a transfer of pillows from all apartments to the storehouse on 2 February 2014. Please be understanding. We have to help the athletes out of this bind.”

Either the athletes arrived early, or event planners somehow didn’t know when they were arriving. Regardless, it seems like volunteers and staffers might now be asked to give up their own pillows to accommodate the athletes. It’s in line with what other citizen bloggers are posting ahead of the Olympics, like this guy, who claims residents near the stadiums are forbidden from using wood-burning fireplaces to avoid unsightly smoke coming out of chimneys. Even though it’s the Winter Games.

Of the string of comments on the original Instagram post, maybe the last one says it all: “Fuck…and now the whole world laughs…”

http://www.canada.com/olympics/sochi-guide/sochi-facilities-still-a-work-in-progress

In Beijing, every detail was nailed down. They violated all kinds of human rights to do it, of course, but it was an expression of China’s ruthless efficiency. It showed what the country can do, when it wants to.

Sochi? Well, three of the nine mountain hotels have not been completed, and the IOC estimate that 97 per cent of the rooms are ready appears to ignore the little things.

Almost every room is missing something: lightbulbs, TVs, lamps, chairs, curtains, wifi, heat, hot water. Shower curtains are a valuable piece of the future black market here. (One American photographer was simply told, “You will not get a shower curtain.”)

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BfZCydkCQAAp0zl.jpg

The next room had construction workers still sleeping in it. The third room had a stray dog in it. Reuter was quoted by the Associated Press as saying, “When I came out of the elevator, there was the dog. I said, ‘Right, that’s it.’”

(They are reportedly now killing the numerous stray dogs here, which makes every adorable mutt you see the hero of a Disney movie, directed by Quentin Tarantino. At a press conference Tuesday, Sochi 2014 spokeswoman Alexandra Kosterina said “There is a special service that catches the stray dogs and this, as far as I know, they have a special shelter for the stray dogs, and make a medical examination of them. Like pest control.” It was not comforting.)

But the hotels are where the Russian Games are visibly straining at the seams. In the Ekaterininsky Kvartal hotel, the elevator is broken and the stairway is unlit, with stairs of varying and unpredictable heights.

Outside the Chistya Prudy, there is a bag of concrete in a palm tree, leaking grey down the trunk. Inside, some of the electrical outlets are just plates screwed into drywall.

Sports Illustrated’s Brian Cazeneuve had to clamber through a window to get out of his hotel on Tuesday morning, since the doors were all unexpectedly locked. Chris Stevenson of Sun Media was without electricity for the first day.

My Postmedia colleague Cam Cole’s bathtub came loose from the wall, and therefore rocks like a ship. He has a shower curtain, though. In the Rosa Khutor section of the mountains, Stacy St. Clair of the Chicago Tribune was told by the front desk that if the water worked, “do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous.” When it did come out of the tap, it looked like a lot like cloudy urine.

  	Sochi facilities still a work in progress 		  		 					 					 						 					![http://www.canada.com/olympics/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/SOCHI_OLYMPICS_HOTEL_WOES_214113186-1-930x600.jpg](http://www.canada.com/olympics/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/SOCHI_OLYMPICS_HOTEL_WOES_214113186-1-930x600.jpg) 					PHOTO: AP Photo/Luca BrunoConstruction work continues apace outside the Gorki Plaza East hotel in Krasnaya Polyana, Russia Sunday, Feb. 2, 2014.  			  			 				![http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/7d6ab886748486a7ed3d9ca4bf7d12b0?s=81&d=http%3A%2F%2F1.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D54&r=G](http://1.gravatar.com/avatar/7d6ab886748486a7ed3d9ca4bf7d12b0?s=81&d=http%3A%2F%2F1.gravatar.com%2Favatar%2Fad516503a11cd5ca435acc9bb6523536%3Fs%3D54&r=G)				by Bruce Arthur

Feb 04, 2014 - 9:39 AM EST
Last Updated: Feb 04, 2014 - 12:17 PM EST

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    		 			 		 			SOCHI, Russia — As a rule, nobody wants to hear journalists  complain about travel, which is fair. Travel, if you are lucky, is a  part of the job. It’s like complaining about traffic, but somewhere  else.
    

At the Olympics, though, the standard is different, because the Olympics are a comprehensive test. The venues, security, the athletes, transportation, the media, everything. Not every Games reflects on its nation in the same way — Atlanta, for instance, wasn’t so much a pan-American project in 1996 as it was a local disaster, in so many ways.
But Sochi, like Beijing, is different; it is a hideously complex logistical test of how efficiently a country, directed from on high, can pull the whole thing off with nearly unlimited resources. And by that measure, Sochi, its Olympic facilities built practically from scratch, is having some trouble.
“In general, it is done,” said one media hotel worker who has spent the past two years in Sochi, after coming from Siberia. “But the details are not done. And the details are everything.”
She talked about how the bureaucracy had delayed construction, and how the construction companies hadn’t always been paid on time, and weather had delayed matters, too. Oh, and corruption. She was asked what would happen if Putin had ordered it be completed, and she said, “Oh, if Putin says it, it will be done.”
Well, Putin arrived Tuesday. Everyone look busy.
In Beijing, every detail was nailed down. They violated all kinds of human rights to do it, of course, but it was an expression of China’s ruthless efficiency. It showed what the country can do, when it wants to.
Sochi? Well, three of the nine mountain hotels have not been completed, and the IOC estimate that 97 per cent of the rooms are ready appears to ignore the little things.
Almost every room is missing something: lightbulbs, TVs, lamps, chairs, curtains, wifi, heat, hot water. Shower curtains are a valuable piece of the future black market here. (One American photographer was simply told, “You will not get a shower curtain.”)
Of course, the Olympics are also the Olympics of the world’s various body odours, depending on your country and its personal grooming standards, so that might just mean that for the first time, we’re all in the stew together.
Hotel reservations are lost, then found, if you’re lucky. German photographer Joerg Reuter arrived in the mountains and found the first room offered to him to be full of construction debris, with yellow-brown water and appliances that didn’t work.
PHOTO: Bruce Bennett/Getty Images
A construction worker lays paving bricks ahead of the Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics at the Coastal Cluster.

PHOTO: Jae C. Hong/AP
A construction worker pushes a cart past hotel buildings at Gorki Plaza prior to the 2014 Winter Olympics.

The next room had construction workers still sleeping in it. The third room had a stray dog in it. Reuter was quoted by the Associated Press as saying, “When I came out of the elevator, there was the dog. I said, ‘Right, that’s it.’”
(They are reportedly now killing the numerous stray dogs here, which makes every adorable mutt you see the hero of a Disney movie, directed by Quentin Tarantino. At a press conference Tuesday, Sochi 2014 spokeswoman Alexandra Kosterina said “There is a special service that catches the stray dogs and this, as far as I know, they have a special shelter for the stray dogs, and make a medical examination of them. Like pest control.” It was not comforting.)
But the hotels are where the Russian Games are visibly straining at the seams. In the Ekaterininsky Kvartal hotel, the elevator is broken and the stairway is unlit, with stairs of varying and unpredictable heights.
Outside the Chistya Prudy, there is a bag of concrete in a palm tree, leaking grey down the trunk. Inside, some of the electrical outlets are just plates screwed into drywall.
Sports Illustrated’s Brian Cazeneuve had to clamber through a window to get out of his hotel on Tuesday morning, since the doors were all unexpectedly locked. Chris Stevenson of Sun Media was without electricity for the first day.
My Postmedia colleague Cam Cole’s bathtub came loose from the wall, and therefore rocks like a ship. He has a shower curtain, though. In the Rosa Khutor section of the mountains, Stacy St. Clair of the Chicago Tribune was told by the front desk that if the water worked, “do not use on your face because it contains something very dangerous.” When it did come out of the tap, it looked like a lot like cloudy urine.

Oh, and one journalist in the Omega hotel complex had to refuse a colleague’s request to stay a night in the second twin bed because … well, there’s no easy way to say this, but when the first journalist arrived, someone had left an indeterminate amount of semen on the sheets of the second bed, and those sheets had been taken away for cleaning, and hadn’t come back.
Now, this is not a complaint. Most of the time, it doesn’t really matter. It’s inconvenience, for sponsors and officials and journos together, and most journalists are laughing when they can, and as Bonnie D. Ford of ESPN.com put it, at least it keeps your mind off the whole potential terrorism thing.
But it is a measure of how well this country has nailed down this massive project, how closely it has accomplished its mission, and what we have is a sea of little failures that give rise to the spectre of bigger ones. The Boston Globe drove a local car within a couple hundred feet of the Main Press Centre Tuesday, which is a proximity unthinkable in previous Olympics. It could make a person think about the terrorism thing again.

Gretchen, stop trying to make Sochi happen! It’s not going to happen!

Seriously the fucking level of corruption is astounding…

I refuse to believe there are things a shirtless Vlad Putin riding a bear can’t solve.

… or socialism.

didnt they have 4 yrs to prep?