>
> 1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard
> stomach, you are a queer. It means you haven’t sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet… Nancy-pants.
>
> 2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but queer-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog… ‘Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!’ Now think about how
> you call a cat…‘Bun-bun, come to dadd y, snookums!’ Jeeezus, you’re fit to be framed, you’re so queer.
>
> 3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, craw fish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are a Homo in training and undeniably a fag.
>
> 4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man’s world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.
>
> 5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee, you’re as queer as a $3 bill. A straight man will never be heard ordering a ‘Decaf Soy Latte’. If you’ve put a Decaf Soy L atte to your lips, you’ve had a man there, too.
>
> 6. If you know more than six names of non-standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn’t have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a ‘fressier’ is you’re gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.
>
> 7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you’re dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.
>
> 8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.
-
If you post queer jokes on car forums you’re soooooooooo closet case homocopqueer. Don’t worry, nobody can see through these jokes to your deep-seeded manlust.
-
If you are laughing at these, you probably already take it up teh butt when your girlfriend is out of town. There’s nothing wrong with that. Just admit it–you like to get a little kinky. And you’re probably a closet case.
-
If you copy past machoman crap and forward them to all your friends, you’re probably not a straight man, or a homosexual man, you’re just fucking annoying. This probably shouldn’t be included on this list…
-
Your choice in driving a fast car is a good attempt to mask the truth revealed by your constant queer jokes, or calling things gay. We sort of know the back seat of your ubercar or ultrawagon or sliqqqqqcoupe is your venue of choice for closetcase activities, but we won’t tell you we actually think that.
^ <3
:roll: I thought it was kinda funny,its just the internet.
:lol: win
you win.
thank you. +karma
EDIT:
- If the link-of-choice in your sig directs people to look at muscular men in thongs, chances are you are trying to ease your very own coming-out process by desensitizing others to your personal visual preferences.
:touchy:
what are you compensating for? do you drive a VW?
:lol: @ this thread
Filled with potential and irony.
I just noticed your stupid reply.
Wanna fuck?
those really weren’t post-worthy, i expected much better lol and apparently since i am in shape, don’t drive with a stunner arm, and own an animal that doesn’t drool all over me that makes me a homo :gotme:
well you are still a few years away from 40 haha
:bigclap:
hahahah corey that was hilarious
omfg corey i love you. srsly.
youre the best