Quotes overheard in NYC :

Dumb teen: Hey, look at this! It says “Train for jobs in beeyotch.”

Smarter teen: Fool! That word is biotech. Why you gotta be ignorant all your life?

In a supermarket:

Stocker guy #1: Hey, listen to this.

Stocker guy #2: Yeah?

Stocker guy #1: So I’m driving home last night, and my cell phone rings. And it’s a number that I don’t recognize. I pick it up, and say, “Hello?” And there’s this woman’s voice, and she’s like, “Is this Michael?” and I say, “Yeah.” So I’m thinkin’ it’s that girl I met the other day, that I gave my number to. And she’s like, “Did you meet a girl at 88th and 2nd?” And I’m like “Yeah.” “How old are you?” she asks. And I like, I say “I’m 34” but I’m really 44. And then she’s like, “Well she’s 15. This is her mother.”

Hairy, Swollen, Covered in Cuts and Boils
Hobo: Hey, any of you fellas got a match?
Drunk guy: Yeah I got a match, my ass and your face!
Hobo: I hear ya.

-3rd Avenue and 9th Street



Teen girl: I wonder what Marilyn Monroe does in her spare time.
Teen guy: Lie in her coffin?

–2 train


omg roffle :lol: that one is wicked funny, I am surprised no one ever come up with that on BEFORE :rofl:

Girl #1: So he told me that no matter what happens on June 31st, he will come to my house and we’ll discuss our wedding.
Girl #2: I wish my boyfriend would be there for me.
Girl #1: It sounds nice, doesn’t it? Except there is no 31st of June.

not cool Guy: I never like Lance Armstrong
cool Guy: Why?
not cool Guy: Because he took a shit load of steroids to win his Tour De France’s
cool guy: By “steroids” do you mean “Chemo-therapy”?

Chick #1: What’s the deal with Mimi, anyway? She’s been pregnant for a while.
Chick #2: I know. I’m beginning to think she’s just fat.

–Mimi Maternity, 87th & Broadway