All Taken from the first episode of the second season (aka best family guy episode of all time)
Sales guy: Now if youd just sign this without reading it ill take your blank check and you wont not be not loving your timeshare in no time.
Peter: A boats a boat but the mystery box could be anything, it could even be a boat!
Louis: Then lets just take…
Peter: We’ll take the box
Quagmire: maybe they’ll tell some jokes about being a sucker
Cleaveland: Oh quagmire, your what the spaniards call el Terrible
Peter: Boatings in my blood, ever since my great great grandfather Huck Griffin sailed the mighty mississippi
Black dude: What did you just say? Thats OUR word, youve got no right using it
Huck griffin: Sorry I thought that was your name. Could you please pass me the ore N-Word Jim (lololol)
Peter: Well excuse me for thinking a microphone stand at a comedy club should tell a joke or 2, i guess im just old fashioned that way
Peter: Hey louis, what do you call a person who takes forever to cook breakfast…you call her louis
Stewie: Ahahaha the fat man made a funny, I rather enjoyed that. Ok ive got one, if you were cooking anymore slowly, well then I guess you wouldnt be cooking very fast at all now would you. Well that wasnt very good.
Peter: Sara…Sara…is that the one we video taped taking a dump?