reinvent the wheel
in a perfect world
i use streamlined all the time… then i explain how they should fix it.
…6 of one half dozen of the other…
…take a swag at it…
I only write thanks when I am requesting someone to do something.
When I am providing an output to someone they get facts and the file.
Writing thanks would be like saying thank you for the opportunity to do your work for you.
People who say “Essentially” waaayyyyy too much.
“Leveraged”. Way FUCKING overused.
I’m surprised no one has said “Going Forward”
EDIT: Lets “blue sky this”
Everyone at my work uses the word “standpoint” way too much
I’m guilty of saying “essentially” quite often
hmmm I string together entire meeting on nothing with these useful phrases…
You should try to be a more pro-active team player. Your negative sentiments won’t help you out on your next performance review.
haha
if it weren’t for these phrases, I wouldn’t be able to go into meetings and convince people that I know what I am talking about.
i used to work for a guy who used the word “basically” about 10x a day (not in an office, ive never had the pleasure of working in an office with a bunch of mingers)
i got tired of that fast
Leverage is the new synergy. Learn to love it.
"Manager,
Thank you for you email. I take your your email seriously and thank you for your suggestions.
Although I agree that the role your team plays is essential to business on a go-forward basis, due to symbiotic synergies, the resources and increased staffing is unavailable at this time. Senior management is encouraging all management to leverage the resources available and think outside the box for ways to creatively managem around these management challenges.
Again I sincerely appreciate your suggestions and look forward to the continued interested in making us a better team. Can I suggest perhaps looking at your existing processes and looking for ways to proactively streamline those same processes to gain maximum return on your existing resources?
Thanks and have a great day.
My bosses’ boss."
Corporate America makes me want to stab myself in the eye with a rusty fork.
HAHAHAHAH I KNOW!!! I spit pop everywhere when i envisioned it lol
Can I watch 
I’m kinda squeamish. Will you do it for me?
…
Am I the only one that thinks of something else when I think “prairie dogging”? Turtle head? Gotta pinch a loaf real bad…
Yes I agree with the poop coming out then back in with your squeeze your tummy muscles…
but I shit laughing when i thought of people popping their heads up lol.
all of you that hate corporate america need to spend some time in retail. I’ll take corp life any day of the week.
I’ve done retail. It’s superior suckage doesn’t diminish the sucktacity of 9-5 cube farms.
But yeah, the people I deal with have at least passed some sort of interview process. Retail takes all comers. :lol:
Dear Micah,
I owe you money. Please let me know when you’ll have some pictures ready for me.
Thanks,
Regards,
Cheers,
–Josh