"think outside of the box" and other horrible office stuff

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
1

i cant stand it, but i hear this in almost every meeting i have…

some other ones that were kind of new to me were

“hey i mean lets not muddy the waters here…”

and

“the process just needs to be streamlined” <–this is the most general and ineffective way of presenting a solution to an inefficient procedure

even saying “this will be more efficient” is some office hack’s way of saying, i dunno, of saying nothing at all ,they truly suck.

ending every single email with “thanks” , i’m guilty of this but i have begun to stop… office people write this even if its:

"Hi Micah

Here is the spreadsheet you requested.

THANKS

-Gloria "

2

Ugh… I don’t even wanna get started on this topic. I get so pissed at shitty email form.

ONE BIG FUCKING BLOCK PARAGRAPH WITH SHIT ABOUT YOUR KIDS IS NOT INTENDED TO BE IN A PROFESSIONAL EMAIL, I DON’T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR STUPID FUCKING DAUGHTER LEAVE ME ALONE.

Thanks,

ILCisDEAD

3

im gonna copy paste anything dumb whenever i get it, which will be DAILY i am sure of that

4

I also hate colored, centered, and bold emails.

especially from the chief of police.

5

oh man you have no idea

6

have you never worked in a corporate office before, Micah?

wait until you start hearing about the FISH philosophy, or Who Moved My Cheese, or the like minded pyschological warfare…

7

new email…

"To add to everyones confusion.

We marked the serial number as S/N: P10Z40300 on invoice 40-940733-11

Thanks. "

8

nah ive been here for 4 years, just thought id post about it, since, im here, and on nyspeed

9

ahh k.

i ask because its always funny / entertaining / shock & awe… when someone who has never seen a cubicle starts working in an office environment. :lol:

10

Lol, I can’t wait to have a cubicle mate so I can eat fatty foods and fat it up all day long

11

nik - haha yea i def know what u mean

oh umm every wednesday is SNACK DAY, that is if you are a member of SNACK CLUB.

thanks

12

ugh… I hate that shit. I’m gonna turn the office upside down if that crap starts… “Office space” environment + ILC = fun fun fun

13

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

14

You know what I hated more then snack day?

The fucking god damned coffee club elitests.

15

Kinda OT, but reminds me of these humerus office activities:

BLAMESTORMING: Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.

SEAGULL MANAGER: A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

ASSMOSIS: The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

SALMON DAY: The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

CUBE FARM: An office filled with cubicles.

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

MOUSE POTATO: The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.

SITCOMs: Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.

STRESS PUPPY: A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiney.

XEROX SUBSIDY: Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.

IRRITAINMENT: Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

OHNOSECOND: That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a REALLY BIG mistake.

CROP DUSTING: Surreptitiously passing gas while passing thru a CUBE FARM, then enjoying the sounds of dismay and disgust; leads to PRAIRIE DOGGING.

…oh and passing around lame-ass office humor.
THANKS

16

LOL @

PRAIRIE DOGGING: When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.

17

hahaha working in an office blows… hate it.

Ours is pretty laid back though which is cool (only about 10 employees) but office politics suck.

and I’m very guilty of the “thanks” thing. It’s just part of my signature but most are to customers

“hey i mean lets not muddy the waters here…”

haha, or “clear as mud”

18

Ughhh…I read Who Moved My Cheese

19

no clue what FISH philosophy, or Who Moved My Cheese is. im glad i havent come across that yet

20

the woman in the cubical next to mine is terrible. She farts loudly ALL the time, and then yesterday, she was on the phone and said this:

“I have diarrehea, but I think I can make it there”