fucking dumbass
Some stories write themselves. If more of them did that, I’d be out of a job.
The story of Martha Luke not only writes itself, it provides all the punchlines. I’m in big trouble.
Luke, a Porter County probation officer, stopped on her way to work last Thursday to get her car gassed up and washed at a Speedway station on U.S. 30 in Valparaiso.
Exiting the car wash, she remembered she had not taken the magnetic “ribbons” off her car. She has one saying “Support Our Troops” and another supporting two Portage police officers who are serving in Iraq. The latter had fallen off in the car wash.
As she walked back into the car wash to retrieve the magnet, the overhead doors closed, trapping her inside. It was about 7 a.m., the temperature was in the 30s and her car was sitting outside with the motor running, the driver’s side door open and her purse on the front seat.
No big deal, right? Just open the door and walk out. Wrong-ola, Turtle Wax breath.
After trying unsuccessfully to pry open the doors, she looked around for some kind of emergency button that would either open the doors, alert the gas station employees or deliver up a hot Starbucks latte grande to keep her warm.
She found no buttons. That’s because they are difficult to find because they are right next to the door and marked with the secret code words “Open” and “Close.” There’s also a glass door a spokesperson said is not locked during business hours.
Growing panicky, Luke began running from window to window hoping to see some sign of life, preferably the kind that was not stealing her car or purse.
She discovered car washes are not busy at 7 a.m., and its location behind the station is not conducive to a lot of pedestrian traffic. Shaken and teary, she was trapped for about half an hour before another car wash customer arrived. At first, it was a mixed blessing.
As the car entered the wash, the machinery came on, providing a soggy, soapy obstacle to her exit, which was actually the entrance. The driver, understandably surprised by her presence, turned on his windshield wipers to see what she was doing. Luke waited near the exit door, the mist blowing on her as she shivered in her clog-style shoes.
As the wash ended, the blow drier dropped down, almost whacking her on the head while creating the mother of wind chills before she could get out of the way. Finally, the door opened, and she ran out, got in her car and left.
Still suffering from carwash-aphobia, Luke said her friends and co-workers were very sympathetic when they learned of her harrowing adventure.
“Everybody kept calling me and singing the theme from ‘Carwash,’” she said.
:biglol: , i wish i could have some video footage of this woman