im not complaining. i just dont want to miss out, because of the fact that most of my time and energy go into this…thing. and in order to be able to do that, i spend a lot of time and energy to make the money to spend that additional time and energy 
and its a never ending cycle of “why the fuck did i …” and that first spring meet of the year, i tend to miss, and the first and last meets of the year are the best, and most attended, and i dont want to keep missing them. not to mention school, my job, and something else i got cooking