When Girls Drink Too Much:
-
I Have Absolutely No Idea Where My Purse Is.
-
I Believe That Dancing With My Arms Overhead And Wiggling My Butt
While Yelling “woo-hoo!” Is Truly The Sexiest Dance Move Around. -
I’ve Suddenly Decided I Want To Kick Someone’s Ass And Honestly
Believe I Could Do It Too. -
In My Last Trip To Pee, I Realize I Now Look More Like A Homeless
Hooker Than The Goddess I Was Just Four Hours Ago. -
I Drop My 3:00 A.m. Submarine Sandwich Onthe Floor (which I’m Eating
Even Though I’m Not The Least Bit Hungry), Pick It Up And Carry
On Eating It. -
I Start Crying And Telling Everyone I See That I Love Them Sooooo
Much. -
I Get Extremely Excited And Jump Up And Down Every Time A New Song
Plays Because “oh My God! I Love This Song!” -
I’ve Found A Deeper/spiritual Side To The Geek Sitting Next To Me.
-
The Man I’m Flirting With Used To Be My 5th Grade Teacher.
-
The Urge To Take Off Articles Of Clothing, Stand On A Table And Sing
Or Dance Becomes Strangely Overwhelming. -
My Eyes Just Don’t Seem To Want To Stay Open On Their Own So I Keep
Them Half Closed And Think It Looks Exotically Sexy. -
I’ve Suddenly Taken Up Smoking And Become Really Good At It.
-
I Yell At The Bartender, Who (i Think) Cheated Me By Giving Me Just
Lemonade, But That’s Just Because I Can No Longer Taste The Vodka. -
I Think I’m In Bed, But My Pillow Feels Strangely Like The Kitchen
Floor -
I Start Every Conversation With A Booming, “don’t Take This The
Wrong Waybut…” -
I Fail To Notice That The Toilet Lid’s Down When I Sit On It.
-
My Hugs Begin To Resemble Wrestling Take-down Moves.
-
I’m Tired So I Just Sit On The Floor (wherever I Happen To Be
Standing) And Take A Quick Nap. -
I Begin Leaving The Buttons Open On My Button Fly Pants To Cutdown
On The Time I’m In The Bathroom Away From My Drink. -
I Take My Shoes Off Because I Believe It’s Their Fault That I’m
Having Problems Walking Straight.
