The Silent Treatment
A man and his
wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
other the silent
treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the next day,
he would need
his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be
the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper,
‘Please wake me at 5:00 AM .’ He left it
where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to
discover it was 9:00 AM
and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was
about to go and
see why his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece
of paper by
the bed. The paper said, ‘It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.’
Men are
not equipped for these kinds of contests.
WIFE VS. HUSBAND
A couple
drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.
An earlier
discussion had led to an argument and
neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed
a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,
the husband asked sarcastically ,
‘Relatives of yours?’
‘Yep,’ the
wife replied, ‘in-laws’.
‘Cash, cheque or charge?’ I
asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase.
As she fumbled for
her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.
‘So, do you always carry your TV remote?’ I asked.
‘No,’ she replied, ’
but my husband refused to come shopping with
me,
and I figured
this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.’
(A MAN’S
PERSPECTIVE)
I know I’m not
going to understand women.
I’ll never
understand how you can take boiling hot wax,
pour it onto your upper thigh,
rip the hair out by the root,
and still be afraid of a
spider.
A husband read an
article to his wife about how many words women use a day…
30,000 to a
man’s 15,000.
The wife replied,
'The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…
The
husband then turned to his wife and asked, ‘What?’
CREATION
A man said to
his wife one day, 'I don’t know how you can be
so stupid and so beautiful
all at the same time.
’ The wife responded, 'Allow me to explain.
God
made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I
would be attracted to you!
WHO DOES WHAT
A man and his wife
were having an argument about who
should brew the coffee each morning.
The wife said, ‘You should do it, because you get up first,
and then we
don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.’
The husband said, ’ You are
in charge of cooking around here and
you should do it, because that is your
job, and I can just wait for my coffee.’
Wife replies, ‘No, you should do
it, and besides, it is in the Bible
that the man should do the coffee.’
Husband replies, ‘I can’t believe that, show me.’
So she fetched the
Bible, and opened the New Testament
and showed him at the top of several
pages, that it indeed says…‘HEBREWS’