I’m laughing pretty hard right now.
yes.
Welcome to Bros Like This Site– yeah this is a direct rip-off of StuffWhitePeopleLike.com but I take protein, and you don’t, so you can go fuck yourself.
Anyways, I wanted to start off this blog by explaining just what a “Bro” is.Wikipedia defines “BRO” as “Indian military maintainers of army and civilian roads in border areas, better known as ‘Boarder Roads Organisation.’” First of all, Wikipedia is full of shit and they don’t know what the fuck they are talking about. At a high level, a bro is a guy. A girl is a bra and they have no place in this conversation.
A bro can be defined by these characteristics
- Gets fucked up. By far the most important quality of being a bro
- Takes mad protein
- Hooks up with mad chicks.
- Above all loves hanging with his bros and would do anything for them, even let them drive when they’ve had too much to drink.
Now, I know what you are thinking – “Oh, I know what bros are, they are the guys who everyone wants to be/fuck!” Wrong – little do you know there are bro-enemies out there:
Bras – this is pretty much just a nice way of saying bitches, which bros always refer to women as. They try to kill our buzz by telling us we are “lame” or that they are “pregnant.” They can’t be trusted and there is no room for them in any capacity.
Bro-Haters – Better known to you as Nerks, Dorks, Dweebs, or Recovering Alcoholics. These people do not like to get fucked up, which is rule number one of being a bro and therefore I hate them. You can find often find them at the Library, Church, AA meetings, or Laser Tag arenas.
Look back here in the coming weeks for updates on all the Shit that we Bros like and tips on how you yourself can become a Bro
ahahahahaa
Lmao… im not a bro but im sooooo guilty of this.
#10 Sweet Caroline
It’s midnight. You’re 20 deep. You badly need to crush a Red Bull. Luckily for you, the DJ gives you something even better. Neil Diamond.The moment you hear the slow intro, bros make eye contact as if to say, “Now it’s the bros time to shine.” By rule, all bros must know the words to Sweet Caroline. However, with this bro-anthem, bros are not satisfied with the lyrics – we need to add a few more lines. For example – why the hell didn’t Diamond yell “Dun, Dun, Dun” after singing “Sweet Caroline?” Not only does it make the song sound better, but it makes you cooler too. Also, bros enhance the song following the lyric of “Good times never felt so good” by making sure everyone knows that the times were indeed “So good, So good, So good.” Like honestly, if I hear this song when I’m not around my bros – I seriously forget that times with Caroline were good. I even get a little depressed thinking about those times. That’s when I realize; I’m only depressed because I miss my bros!
Just a tad over the top.
good stuff lol
I’m purchasing the “brosef stalin” tshirt right now
Is this authored by the guy in the “new haircut” video?
lol, Jagerbomz!
By yelling at girls it increases the chance that they will not come back to play next week, thus increasing your team’s chance at success. It also increases your chance to bang the hot slam pieces, too. Slam pieces fucking love to be yelled at and shown who’s boss. They also are really fucking impressed when you absolutely dominate on the field. Bros love to show they are in charge on the field.
LOL :lol:
You’re standing at the bar waiting to get a drink. This bartender fucking sucks and it seems like you have been there forever. You are a bro and this shit doesn’t fly. Thats when the fat bitch ducks in front of you trying to get service. Bad fucking move. At first you are polite and simply tell her to “take her fat heffer ass outback to eat some fucking grass.” She snaps her head back to let you know that you are an asshole. Finally - two way communication. You reach for you big guns because you know she is close.
“How proud were your parents,” you ask her.
“Proud about what you fucking douchebag?”
“Proud that their daughter won first prize for fattest pig at the fair?”
LOL
haha, love this part
Newsflash - Bros fucking love drinking. But what do bros love even more than drinking and perhaps ankle socks? Drinking during the fucking day. Now, any true bro would love to drink all day everyday but the biggest bro hater of all - society - says that this makes you an alcoholic. I would first like to say fuck you to society, you fucking bro hater. Just because you ended up alone, crying, and masturbating after unsuccessfully taking girls out on dates your whole life and we banged them after not even knowing their name doesn’t mean you have to make this shit personal. Nevertheless, it is unfortunate, but bros now have to disguise their daytime drinking by creating “events.”
LOL
i sincerely enjoy this website.
Fucking great
For example, in College there was this freak 6’2’’ “woman” who I swear had balls at one point in “her” life. Instead of letting her live her life peacefully we had to come up with a nickname: “Manbeast.” Everytime she would enter the Caf we would yell out – “Hide your women and children!! Manbeast is here!!” We also did impressions of things she definitely said in the privacy of her own home, such as “I am Manbeast!! I will club you and eat your bones!!!” This was mostly done with her sitting at the table next to us, which provided for the best comedic effect. I know what all you bras are saying- “You are such an asshole” well fuck you bitch, if she didn’t want to be made fun of, she shouldn’t have decided to be a fucking mammoth beast.
Just spit coffee on my monitor.
6,2 Woman?
Where did Joes GF goto College?
Lmao. I likey.
omg. I’m guilty of like 1/2 of these things. I’m not a bro, am I???
Bro, of course you are a bro. why wouldn’t you want to be a bro, bro?
This is hilarious.
EDIT: Bros Like This Site: #50 Bachelor Parties
fuck this is so good.
Bros dig power, and to be honest there is nothing more empowering than calling girls sluts. Honestly, does it get any better than cruising the streets with your bros and constantly saying, “Oh, look at these fucking sluts!” every time you pass by a group of girls. Answer: No, it doesn’t. Bros love to change the pronunciation of sluts just to mix things up. Slutties, Sloots, and Slutbags are variations of the word, but they all mean the same thing: that the girl is a ho-bag.