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But everybody looks funny naked!
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You woke me up for that?
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Did I mention the video camera?
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Do you smell something burning?
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(in a janitor’s closet) And they say romance is dead…
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Try breathing through your nose
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A little rug burn ever hurt anyone!
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Is that a Medic-Alert Pendant?
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Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
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But whipped cream makes me break out
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Person 1: This is your first time… right?
Person 2: Yeah… today -
(in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
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Can you please pass me the remote control?
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Do you accept Visa?
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ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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On second thought, let’s turn off the lights.
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And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
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So much for mouth-to-mouth.
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(using body paint) Try not to leave any stains, okay?
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Hope you’re as good looking when I’m sober…
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(holding a banana) It’s just a little trick I learned at the zoo!
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Do you get any premium movie channels?
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Try not to smear my make-up, will ya!
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(preparing to use peanut butter sexually) But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
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Got any penicillin?
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But I just brushed my teeth…
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Smile, you’re on Candid Camera!
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I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
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I want a baby!
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So much for the fulfillment of sexual fantasies!
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(in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work?
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Maybe we should call Dr. Ruth…
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Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
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I think you have it on backwards
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When is this supposed to feel good?
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Put that blender back in the kitchen where it belongs!
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You’re good enough to do this for a living!
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Is that blood on the headboard?
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Did I remember to take my pill?
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Are you sure I don’t know you from somewhere?
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I wish we got the Playboy channel…
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That leak better be from the waterbed!
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I told you it wouldn’t work without batteries!
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But my cat always sleeps on that pillow
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Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
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If you quit smoking you might have more endurance…
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No, really… I do this part better myself!
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It’s nice being in bed with a woman I don’t have to inflate!
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This would be more fun with a few more people…
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You’re almost as good as my ex!
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Do you know the definition of statutory rape?
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Is that you I smell or is it your mattress stuffed with rotten potatoes?
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You look younger than you feel
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Perhaps you’re just out of practice
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You sweat more than a galloping stallion!
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They’re not cracker crumbs, it’s just a rash
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Now I know why he/she dumped you…
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Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
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You give me reason to conclude that foreplay is overrated
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What tampon?
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Have you ever considered liposuction?
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And to think, I didn’t even have to buy you dinner!
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What are you planning to make for breakfast?
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I have a confession…
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I was so horny tonight I would have taken a duck home!
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Are those real or am I just behind the times?
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Were you by any chance repressed as a child?
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Is that a hanging sculpture?
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You’ll stil vote for me, won’t you?
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Did I mention my transsexual operation?
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I really hate women who actually think sex means something!
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Did you come yet, dear?
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I’ll tell you who I’m fanatasizing about if you tell me who you’re fantasizing about…
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A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
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Does this count as a date?
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Oprah Winfrey had a show about men like you!
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Hic! I need another beer for this please
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I think biting is romantic- don’t you?
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You can cook, too right?
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When would you like to meet my parents?
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Man: Maybe it would help if I thought about someone I really like…
Woman: Yourself? -
Have you seen “Fatal Attraction”?
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Sorry about the name tags, I’m not very good with names
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Don’t mind me… I always file my nails in bed
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(in a phone booth) Do you mind if I make a few phone calls?
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I hope I didn’t forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a light?
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Don’t worry, my dog’s really friendly for a Doberman.
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Sorry but I don’t do toes!
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You could at least ACT like you’re enjoying it!
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Petroleum jelly or no petroleum jelly, I said NO!
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Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper…
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I’ll bet you didn’t know I work for “The Enquirer”
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So that’s why they call you MR. Flash!
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My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
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Is this a sin too?
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I’ve slept with more women than Wilt Chamberlain!
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Hey, when is it going to be my friend’s turn?
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Long kisses clog my sinuses…
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Please understand that I’m only doing this for a raise…
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How long do you plan to be “almost there”?
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You mean you’re NOT my blind date?
Oh if a one night stand has never occurred for you
http://www.seductioninsider.com/articles/one_night_stands.html :kekegay: