http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/
:lol:
(601): How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
(318): Alcohol?
(601): Sex with a fat chick.
what is a perfect wrist rocket???
(515): Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
(847): Beat you to it.
best one evAr
(540): is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Joe? Walter? Drew?
some of these are really good
Awesome site.
(917): Come with me and I’ll find you a girl. What’s your type?
(212): Vagina
its blocked at work, so it must be good…
(970): Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
(970): Sure it tastes the same, but it ain’t right.
(970): Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
(970): Sure it tastes the same, but it ain’t right.
LOL
(313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
(1-313): “omg awesome!, you do realize we aren’t together anymore”
(917): Come with me and I’ll find you a girl. What’s your type?
(212): Vagina
(706): I think I’m in Tiajuana
(404): You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
(706): I could be
fuckin orzech bastard
muahaha
(650): Dear __, it’d be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I’m throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
(323): i don’t know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
(818): she hot?
(323): i don’t wanna talk about it
HAHAHA
Yes this site rules. Great time waster.
(301): I’m sorry my penis didn’t work
(217): I’m trashed wearing your mom’s snuggie. She says hello.
UBER FAIL
(619): i miss you so much
(858): i miss you too
(858): oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
LOL
(949): Getting food. Want anything?
(1-949): Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
(818): Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
(770): I’ve mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.