Benjamin -
I’m disappointed at how you’ve decided to handle this situation. You haven’t replied to several PMs where I tried to rectify the problem. Instead you chose to fabricate this lie, this story, to attempt to degrade my personal reputation to the members of this fine forum.
Folks - Please do not believe this lie. I stopped by Benjamin’s house to purchase select goods from him from a certain purple scrap pile. I courteously introduced myself to Benjamin’s neighbors while he was several hours late for our meeting. By now it was dark and Ben had brought several short, white, Italian males with him wearing torn jeans and black leather jackets. Nervously, I left the money with Benjamin. Immediately, the short, white, Italian males began to bludgen me with baseball bats and other blunt, club-like objects. I made a desperate dash for my truck but quickly nabbed the “trunk vent” off the parts car. I ran screaming while being chased by the guido hoard, lept through my truck’s window, slammed it into 4wd Low and ripped across Benjamin’s lawn to escape.
I chose to let my ordeal pass and call it even seeing as this has been the easiest transaction I have had thus far with Benjamin.
But I must warn you, if this continues, I will not purchase further items from you.
I hope we can resolve this with words. If not, please bring it on as I can lob open paint cans from my house to yours with the new trebuchet in my back yard. Welcome to Clifton Park, fuckface.
Cordially,
What a snarled web of lies.
I chose to air this dirtiest of laundry in this way in order to warn the public of your questionable business practices. I have replied to your private messages with sincerity, and to no avail, still having not received the agreed upon sum.
The “White, Italian thugs” you are referring to were merely my landlords ferrets. They do not have opposable thumbs, and therefore are incapable of carrying bats or any other “club-like” objects. Also, I assure you their jackets were of a polyester blend, not leather.
I was also unaware of the damage your battle cruiser did to my Fief, I will evaluate the damage when I get home, take pictures, and inform my landlord.
The ferrets will not be pleased.
I have also warned my Lord of your possession of aforementioned Trebuchet, attacks on his land will not be tolerated.
What a snarled web of lies.
I chose to air this dirtiest of laundry in this way in order to warn the public of your questionable business practices. I have replied to your private messages with sincerity, and to no avail, still having not received the agreed upon sum.
The “White, Italian thugs” you are referring to were merely my landlords ferrets. They do not have opposable thumbs, and therefore are incapable of carrying bats or any other “club-like” objects. Also, I assure you their jackets were of a polyester blend, not leather.
I was also unaware of the damage your battle cruiser did to my Fief, I will evaluate the damage when I get home, take pictures, and inform my landlord.
The ferrets will not be pleased.
I have also warned my Lord of your possession of aforementioned Trebuchet, attacks on his land will not be tolerated.
Omg, you guys really need to stop, im not even high and im lol’ing
n_cole
April 20, 2009, 11:59am
24
What a snarled web of lies.
I chose to air this dirtiest of laundry in this way in order to warn the public of your questionable business practices. I have replied to your private messages with sincerity, and to no avail, still having not received the agreed upon sum.
The “White, Italian thugs” you are referring to were merely my landlords ferrets. They do not have opposable thumbs, and therefore are incapable of carrying bats or any other “club-like” objects. Also, I assure you their jackets were of a polyester blend, not leather.
I was also unaware of the damage your battle cruiser did to my Fief, I will evaluate the damage when I get home, take pictures, and inform my landlord.
The ferrets will not be pleased.
I have also warned my Lord of your possession of aforementioned Trebuchet, attacks on his land will not be tolerated.
Damn Benny, I’m in tears over here trying to hold back laughter. :lol
JClark
April 20, 2009, 1:39pm
27
What a snarled web of lies.
I chose to air this dirtiest of laundry in this way in order to warn the public of your questionable business practices. I have replied to your private messages with sincerity, and to no avail, still having not received the agreed upon sum.
The “White, Italian thugs” you are referring to were merely my landlords ferrets. They do not have opposable thumbs, and therefore are incapable of carrying bats or any other “club-like” objects. Also, I assure you their jackets were of a polyester blend, not leather.
I was also unaware of the damage your battle cruiser did to my Fief, I will evaluate the damage when I get home, take pictures, and inform my landlord.
The ferrets will not be pleased.
I have also warned my Lord of your possession of aforementioned Trebuchet, attacks on his land will not be tolerated.
Benjamin - I warn you not to continue your smear campaign against my reputation, my honor, and my legacy on this earth. Your unprofessional behavior through this has been appalling and your ghastly retelling of our recent encounter is pure fallacy. The jackets were most certainly constructed of a dyed natural cowhide - NOT the “pleather” you refer to.
Be assured and forewarned that my trebuchet is not a subject of laughter or childish hyperbole. It is over 8 fathoms high, constructed of thick, creeky timber, and is quintessential ‘Lord of the Rings’ up in this bitch. According to Google Maps, your new place of residence is a mere 5 miles from my fortress as the crow flies. I could walk it in nary a fortnight. BE ASSURED, once again, Benjamin, that I chunks of castle wall, rotting fruit, my neighbors obnoxious dog, and other unsavory items can easily rain down upon you with a mere snap of fingers.
I trust that you will now be a gentleman about the situation and dissuade your short, white, Italian males and their ferrets against further exacerbation of the present situation. I have tried to resolve this peacefully and privately but I will defend myself as necessary if I am further provoked. Beest thou a homo no longer.
With best intentions,
n_cole
April 20, 2009, 1:40pm
28
Make it stop.
:rofl
The medieval references are killing me here.
Holy. Shit.
:rofl
I will respond merely with one simple fact.
Ferrets. Can. Tunnel.
JClark
April 20, 2009, 2:03pm
31
I WILL POINT OUT - Benjamin ceded victory in post 29 but then edited it in ninja fashion when his pride got the best of him.
The man has no spine! He is a hotheaded ragamuffin at best.
Ferrets can tunnel? I need not to be reminded! Do you think trebuchets cannot tunnel as well!? IF IT IS WAR YOU WANT, IT IS WAR YOU SHALL HAVE!
LMAO on a side note I saw some gay vinyl wrapped bmw at synapse today
JClark
April 20, 2009, 6:32pm
34
Dude, dont be mean, that’s Jay’s car. You did the work, remember?
Nah this was some white pile with black and red vinyl. Total riced out pos. But on a happier note can we launch shit at Benny?
Benjamin - I warn you not to continue your smear campaign against my reputation, my honor, and my legacy on this earth. Your unprofessional behavior through this has been appalling and your ghastly retelling of our recent encounter is pure fallacy . The jackets were most certainly constructed of a dyed natural cowhide - NOT the “pleather” you refer to.
Be assured and forewarned that my trebuchet is not a subject of laughter or childish hyperbole. It is over 8 fathoms high , constructed of thick, creeky timber, and is quintessential ‘Lord of the Rings’ up in this bitch. According to Google Maps, your new place of residence is a mere 5 miles from my fortress as the crow flies. I could walk it in nary a fortnight. BE ASSURED, once again, Benjamin, that I chunks of castle wall, rotting fruit, my neighbors obnoxious dog , and other unsavory items can easily rain down upon you with a mere snap of fingers.
I trust that you will now be a gentleman about the situation and dissuade your short, white, Italian males and their ferrets against further exacerbation of the present situation . I have tried to resolve this peacefully and privately but I will defend myself as necessary if I am further provoked. Beest thou a homo no longer.
With best intentions,
For you noobs, I have bolded the win in this. I award you 9 points.
A lot of you could learn from this man.
Benny, you have lost this battle.
rofl:rofl
