Well I have eliminated the fact that you are not a cop by checking out your facebook page. HOWEVER, I noticed that you have a quite a few very attractive females on your friends list.
I will personally guide you stardom on shift if and only if you hook me up with the following girls from your friends list:
Alexis Alterri or w/e, looks hot from the profile pic OR and preferably Alexandra Cordi. Age is not an issue.