Attn: Females of Pittspeed

[HaNnIBaL64]

@Darkstar

Hey there. Are you dating/married? Maybe even to someone that also posts on Pittspeed? If so, I can imagine your pain. All those faked orgasms. All those 30 second marathon sessions. Having a man that couldn’t find the g-spot if it were the size of Quik’s head and lasts as long as a DSM built by 1320 must be a bear. He might be a good guy, but you deserve to get yours every once in a while too. But I’m here to tell you that I can help. I’ve recently decided to offer my services to you poor ladies. Starting immediately I’m opening my secluded and romantic beach cabana to the ladies of Pittspeed for weekend getaways. While your man is (as usual) neglecting you to service his undercarraige, make your escape to Darkstar’s tropical oasis of guilt free passion and get your undercarraige serviced by a seasoned professional. The only charge is lust and an open mind. Book your reservation by Private Message today, as slots will definately be filled to capacity…and then some. Groups are welcome (and encouraged), so bring your girlfriends to make it look like nothing more than a innocent all girl weekend at the beach.

Recommended Items to Bring:

Gatorade
Crutches
Compressed bottle of Oxygen
Your normal year’s supply of lubricant
Surgical sewing kit

Note: If you’re involved with Hannibal, SleeperGTP, or Cutty, an on site STD test will be conducted upon your arrival. If you’ve slept with Quik, Fshowcars, or Whitey, a polygraph will be conducted.

i have a clean bill of health nugga…::bigok: