This just in:
A member of Pittspeed is facing being perma-banned for a secret Homosexual porno career discovered over the weekend.
For the past six years, Mr. Knapp has been paying for his Honda preludes, Eagle Talons, Automatic Corvettes as well as pool cleaning supplies through his secret life as gay porn star “Mikey Cockswallower,” earning as much as $200 per weekend while jetting off to Pegasus, random bus stations and Port O’ Potties to film more than one hundred videos.
“Gay Porn enabled me to buy a really awesome automatic corvette!” Said the 26 year old from Kittaning, PA.-- Knapp also went on to elaborate, “Plus I just truly enjoy the feel of giant black meat-rockets up my anus, its like getting paid for things I would do anyways.”
Mikey’s Porn Filmography includes the following Titles:
-28 Gays Later
-A Fistful of Penis
-Rear and Present Danger
-Assablanca
-Doing John Malkovich
-Three Men and Some Gravy
-20 Guy Creampie
-2 Dudes, 1 cup
Pittspeeds handbook clearly states that “homosexual intercourse, (unless it is two girls) whether for monetary gain or not, is subject to disciplinary action.”
Mr. Knapp had been warned by his mentors the adult film industry, that his identity would likely become known. And he had been careful to keep his adult film career away from Pittspeed. Still, he hadn’t ever expected that it might cause him to be permabanned.
In his last words:
“If I had it to do over again? I wouldnt change a thing, I truly love sucking man-faucet” Mikey told reporters at a news conference Saturday morning. He later added, “Well maybe I would have at least tried harder to find a six-speed vette, this auto tranny is too gay even for me.”
