So last night, like i do every thursday after work, i went to the bar across the street to have some drinks and shoot some pool with my co-workers. josh, a friend from work had called a few of his friends to come and hang with us. one kid’s name is cruise, the other one i cant recall
we have a few beers and see that the pool table is open. i get some quarters and we set up pool. we’re playing rather leisurely, josh and i are pretty good pool players, but 2 of his friends werent. josh and i split up to play teams, and we play a few games.
3 games or so in, josh brings over a bunch of shots and a few more beers, and we continue to play at a rather leisurely pace. we’re just starting to rack our 4th game when dudebro mcspikeyhair comes up to the table, and in an extremely manly fashion and bellows “anyone up next?”
“no,” i say “put your quarters down”
so dudebro goes and gets like $5 worth of quarters and puts all 20 quarters on the edge of the table. im guessing he things he’s going to own the table soon or something? i ask him his name, and he says its joe. i say that my name is joe as well, and jokingly say “hey man, i bet your last name ends in a vowel haha” something i say to people when i meet them, and it’s clear to me that theyre also greasy italians
dudebro did not appreciate the joke, maybe he didnt realize im also italian (i kind of look it i guess?) but he’s like “ya, its linguini so youre right” shoots me a look, and walks away. o dip!
so we continue to play, drinking and playing rather slowly. whatever, not a big deal. at this point, joe tetrozini, his gf, and who i can only assume to be his gf’s mom come and sit at the table near the pool table. we’re taking our time, and joe spagetti’s extremely drunk future mother in law yells, “fucking shoot!”
o dip! ok lady, sorry about that, really i am. i was having a pleasant conversation over here, i was going to take my shot but i was a little pre-occupied at the moment.
so i take my shot, and intentionally miss-cue. oops! pass the cue to josh, and he does the same. pass the cue to cruise, and he stands and talks to josh for literally 5 seconds when joe tetrozini yells “FUCKIN SHOOT!”
ok dude, wow. you are srs about your pool games…
the game continues liek this for a while, them yelling whenever we dont immediately shoot, and josh and i intentionally miss-cueing almost every shot in order to drag the game out (and piss off joe ziti) as much as possible
finally, the game ends. cruise accidentally sinks the 8 ball. joe rigatoni and his drunken future mother in law jump up and run to the table. joe takes 4 of his 47 quarters sitting on the edge of the table, and racks the game.
josh and i are just laughing. this is going to be great. i break, and make 2 high balls on the break. i then sink 4 high balls consecutively, but miss our final ball before we can shoot for the 8 ball.
i hand the cue to joe lasagna and he makes 1 ball, but misses on his second attempt. josh takes the cue, makes the final ball, and not only sinks the 8 ball, but banks it in
old lady lush loses her fucking mind “I DIDNT EVEN GET A FUCKING CHANCE TO SHOOT YOU MOTHERFUCKERS!” joe tetrozini is not happy either. “we’re playing again.” he says
i dont think i need to tell you what happened the next 2 games. they promptly left after the game, and we resumed leisurely shooting and drinking
