Alright. My friend Andy had a graduation party in Canada, at his Crystal Beach cottage.
So, my buddies and I had been funneling 40oz’s of Steel Reserve, when we ran out of Cheese Puffs. I hoped in the turbo hatch to make a run to No Frills, to pickup the goods.
I get a couple bags of Cheese Puffs and a couple of Tiki Torches to put around the beach that evening. So, I walk out with the stuff in my arms and out of nowhere, this girl comes up, she had to be at least 65 lbs, and asks me “Do you want some girl scout cookies?”
I’m like, “Did you just call me a girl?” She says, “No, I just want to know if you wanted to buy any cookies?” Then, her little friend comes up and says, “Yeah, we have Thin Mints and Peanut Butter Patties.” So I grab her and say, “Nobody calls me Patty” and push her to the ground. I dropped my bags except for one Tiki torch and began to club the first girl like a baby seal. One of the cart boyz sees this and is all like “Ohnoes!” ( :ohnoes: ) and runs in to join. He tries to roll over me with a cart but I went “Bwooce Wee” style on him and popped him with a McGilly Cuttie that laid him out cold. Then the girl I pushed to the ground is all cryin and stuff so I picked up the Tiki torch and threw it like a harpoon thru her shoulder.
Then, I noticed they had a table with what looked like some sort of snacks, so I loaded those up in my bag, urinated on them both, and took off.
I think they learned a valuable lesson today.
I took this picture with my 8MP camera, so I hope it works for the 56k guys.
Then, I went home and punched myself just to prove I don’t take shit from ANYONE!
Tom Kleeman was there to witness it all.
