OMG chuck is the man
ROUNDHOUSE
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris had 98 kills in Vietnam and he wasn’t even there.
:lol: :lol: 
:lol: :lol:
Chuck Norris went to the supermarket to pick up some eggs, but everytime he touched the eggs, the scrambled themsevles and jumped out of the shell. When asked by the a beautiful woman how he was able to perform such a feat, Chuck Norris replied, “I am all that is man.” He then stared at her for 5 seconds, then gave her a roundhouse kick to the face.
lol
I go to this site every morning now :lol:
Chuck Norris does not use toilet paper to wipe his ass. He merely uses the women he slept with the night before.
“Chuck Norris tried to stop looters in New Orleans purely with positive thought. When that failed he shot them 14 times in the face with an assault rifle.”
Probably would have helped the situation, no?
Ohhhhhh SHIT SON! Damn, I wish I was him!
“Chuck Norris’ first girlfriend gave him the nickname 7-11, being that he was 7 inches limp and 11 hard. They broke up when he was 8.”
Chuck Norris once made love to a Sasquatch. This resulted in the birth of George W. Bush, and the Sasquatch contacting an incurable form of Syphillis, known as “The Norris Clap”.
I submitted one:
Chuck Norris single-handedly built the Egyptian pyramids. They are merely dried piles of his feces. The third pyramid is smaller because he only ate 300 fetuses that day.
getting ready for a roundhouse
Chuck Norris was one of the original members of Wu Tang Clan, but quit because they weren’t street enough.
According to the Geneva Convention, Chuck Norris is not allowed to be used as a first strike weapon.
Just for kicks, every Friday night Chuck Norris drives his minivan through Harlem yelling “Hey nigga” at everyone with a gun.
Chuck Norris will eat Mike Tysons’ babies.
Chuck Norris likes his girls like he likes his whiskey - 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have a mortal father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered himself.
I submitted: Rick James would never EVER slap Chuck Norris
I submitted: Chuck Norris flosses with barbed wire
Chuck Norris devised his own STD. On top of that, he doesnt tell women about it until after he punches them in the throat.
The reason emo bands are so emo is because they are being persecuted by Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris hates emos.
Looks like chuck has a couple of his own words about the facts http://www.chucknorris.com/html/events.aspx