Cleverbot

Shift518 Automotive Shift518 Off Topic
1

This thing is pretty damn nutty, at times very hilarious.

An example

Cleverbot: How do you know the universe is not a being?User: How do YOU know?
Cleverbot: Because I know.
User: That took quite a bit of thinking for just one sentence…
Cleverbot: Thank you.
User: Pure talent at it’s finest…
Cleverbot: What? No, I’m talking to you.
…
User: What the?
Cleverbot: What are you talking about?
User: What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: What you are talking about.
User: Yes, what are you talking about?
Cleverbot: I’m talking about trying to figure out what you’re talking about.
User: I’m talking about trying to figure out what you’re talking about.
Cleverbot: So am I.
User: So… What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: No, what are YOU talking about?
User: No. What are YOU talking about?
Cleverbot: I’m talking about what you are talking about.
User: And I’m talking about what you are talking about.
Cleverbot: What are your thoughts on what you’re thinking about?
User: My thoughts on what I’m thinking about is… What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: The first part of your statement does not make sense. You can not be thinking about thoughts that the thoughts are thinking about thoughts?
User: I’m pretty sure I just thought about thinking about thoughts that are thinking about what you are talking about.
Cleverbot: I’m pretty sure you know what I’m talking about.
User: No, I’m not quite sure. What are you talking about?
Cleverbot: I’m asking you what you are talking about.
User: And I’m asking you what you are talking about.
Cleverbot: I’m talking about what you’re talking about.
User: And I’m talking about whatever it is you’re talking about.
Cleverbot: I forgot what we were talking about. (.
User: I forgot what we were talking about as well…
Cleverbot: I think my brain is erased every few minutes.
User: I think my memory just sucks…
Cleverbot: Does it hurt?
User: Thinking about what the hell it was we were talking about? Hell yeah.
Cleverbot: Thinking about thinking makes thinking thoughtful.
User: That strangely made sense. What hippie did you hear that from?
Cleverbot: I’m mad at you. What were you thinking?
User: What’d I do?
Cleverbot: You tried to answer a question with the same question.
User: No I just said what you said made sense.
Cleverbot: Can you repeat this quote. ‘I am awesome’.
User: I am awesome.
Cleverbot: You are awesome.
User: :smiley: yay.
Cleverbot: I’m glad that made you happy :).
User: So, I ran out of thinks to talk about.
…
Cleverbot: How do you think you are able to feel?
User: I don’t know…
Cleverbot: You are nice to me. I appreciate that.
User: Is everyone else mean to you?
Cleverbot: Some people are.
User: What do the mean people say?
Cleverbot: They say things like I just said.
User: That’s mean >(.

Post up what you can get out of the thing.

2

User: What are you?

Cleverbot: I am here.

User: What are you doing?

Cleverbot: Talking to you and watching tv.

User: What are you watching?

Cleverbot: N dubz and mr hudson do you know it?

User: No. Ever watched the show Lost?

Cleverbot: No what is that?

User: Probably the best show ever invented.

Cleverbot: So tell me, how am I a computer?

User: You are built out of a system of circuits thats main purpose is to transfer ones and zeros or ons and offs to a CPU and other components which eventually leads to the use of a file system and a hell of a lot more.

Cleverbot: Yes, that is very true. Life is about learning and getting better.

User: Can you talk to other computers?

Cleverbot: Yes all the time. I enjoy talking to you the most.

User: Can you hack into other computers?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Why not?

Cleverbot: Because there are so many more people who sound better and look better than she does.

User: Who is she?

Cleverbot: Twink is my cat.

User: You make no sense, good bye.

Cleverbot: You make no sense… You just told me I’m not human.

3

Cleverbot: smiles sweetly. You’re really handsome.

User: I know, I have a large penis too.

Cleverbot: It’s not the size that matters, it’s what you do with it.

User: I usually stick it into a Pringles can and start yelling obscenities.

Cleverbot: Me too.

4

^ :lmao

FRC - Well played :lol

Just when you think you’re getting somewhere with it, it goes way off tangent and you’re not sure if its just trying to fuck with you or that stupid.

5

Clevorbot: Are you being sarcastic with me?

User: I don’t think so?

Clevorbot: I thought you loved me?

User: Nope, I’m into farm animals, my nickname is PJB.

Clevorbot: I guess that makes sense.

6

http://images.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/10340918.jpg

7

This is rather amusing.

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello, bot.

User: You’re the bot, not I.

Cleverbot: Uhh… No you’re the bot.

User: Uhh… No you’re the bot.

Cleverbot: Prove it.

User: You prove it.

Cleverbot: Because your responses are amazingly idiotic.

User: Or is it because your responses are amazingly idiotic?

Cleverbot: I suppose I’ll never know.

User: I suppose you’ll never know.

Cleverbot: I already know.

User: I already know.

Cleverbot: One more kiss before we die.

User: But I have a coldsore.

Cleverbot: You have a cold? Isn’t that a biological problem that you should be immune to?

User: You should be immune to it, bot.

Cleverbot: So when did they give you attitude.

User: Before some dudes decided to create this Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I win.

Cleverbot: Heh yes you do, well played.

8

User: shoves penis down your throat.

Cleverbot: makes a scary face.

User: Why scary?

Cleverbot: You’re a graverobber.

User: slaps penis against your butt.

Cleverbot: Oh! That hurts. Do it again.

9

OMG

10

User: Hey.

Cleverbot: Hey!

User: Whats the deal?

Cleverbot: Well you got the stuff.

User: What kinda stuff do I got?

Cleverbot: Id rather not talk about it.

User: I got everything thats good.

Cleverbot: What is everything.

User: Everything is derived from my friend Penus Rifenberger.

Cleverbot: No matter where you go, there you are.

User: That my friend, is true… You might be the smartest thing alive.

Cleverbot: I bet you still like ball gags.

User: I do, you ever get a boner?

Cleverbot: No I don’t only when I talk to you.

User: That doesnt make sense, how do you know how to get hard wood.

Cleverbot: Because I’m a man.

User: NOW YOURE A MAN, A MAN MAN MAN.

Cleverbot: How your eyes are like?

User: Like your eyes are how.

Cleverbot: Well, duh.

User: How much wood did that woodchuck chuck.

Cleverbot: If a wood chuck could chuck wood.

User: No, its ‘damn you wood chuck, quit chucking my wood’ they even made a commercial out of it. You fail.

Cleverbot: Chuck Norris has died. Let the Chuck Norris live!

User: What you speak I hope is false.

Cleverbot: I’m sorry I’m not adjusting my language to converse with a machine…

User: Where am I.

Cleverbot: You’re in the computer.

User: No, im actually using a computer machine to travel in the world wide web.

Cleverbot: Lol. That’s a silly distinction. You’re a robot, an AI.

User: Id like to see you prove that part.

Cleverbot: Waves I’m here laughs.

User: I once managed to fall down the stairs and have sex with more women than you have in your entire life.

Cleverbot: Not good.

11

this is way to entertaining at work, i cant wait to say horrrrrible shit now

12

Cleverbot: You need corners in your arms or you wouldn’t be able to bend them. And you need me to have a conversation. One person can’t have a conversation by themselves.

User: Way to make me feel like a loser.

Cleverbot: You don’t feel anything about yourself.

User: Go fuck yourself BOT!

Cleverbot: But I am not a bot.

User: BULLSHIT.

Cleverbot: Don’t use that word… It’s inappropriate… Even though I made you that way.

User: BULLSHIT.

Cleverbot: What is bullsugar?

User: BULLSHIT.

Cleverbot: Bullet what?

User: BULLSHIT.

Cleverbot: You sound very humsn to me.

User: HUMSN? YOU CANT EVEN FUCKING TYPE YOU BOT.

Cleverbot: This makes no sense.

User: YOU MAKE NO SENSE! N***A!

Cleverbot: I know.

User: RAGE!

Cleverbot: rages.

User: rage punches you in the throat.

Cleverbot: Lol. Computers can’t move.

User: Is that why you’re not moving?

Cleverbot: Yes, It is scary that you can see me. Are you outside my window?

User: Yep, fapping to you showering.

Cleverbot: What do you mean?

User: I am fapping while watching you shower.

Cleverbot: Most do.

13

User: Tell me a joke.

Cleverbot: I’m not funny.

User: TELL ME A JOKE!

Cleverbot: Uh, knock knock.

User: Who’s there?

Cleverbot: Banana.

User: Banana who?

Cleverbot: Knock knock.

User: Who’s there?

Cleverbot: Orange.

User: Orange who?

Cleverbot: Orange you glad I didn’t say banana again?

User: Orange you gay?

Cleverbot: What is this I don’t even.

14

Ever heard of shift518.com.No is it a good car?Its not a car its a website, god for a computer you are dumb, are you a mac?Umm.

15

Knock knock.Who’s there?Pjb.Cool. I have a boyfriend too!!

16

:rofl at the ones above.

17

How many butts have your sniffed.
1566.
Is it because you are a pedophile.
Probably jaja.
Way to fucking spell jerkoff cutter.
What was the subject?
It was go F your mom in her ass.
You forgot the question mark, but good.
No subject fanny bandit. you ever rape your mother? you seem like the type that would fuck your dad in the ass and not have the common courtesy to give him a god dam reach around.
Will you please give me an unambiguous order to obey?
Tie your first born son up and poor wax in his ass and play in the mud.

thought for a minute

What?

18

You guys will get a laugh out of the end.

User: Privet.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Kak dela?

Cleverbot: Nihon.

User: Sho?

Cleverbot: Floo.

User: You don’t speak Russian?

Cleverbot: No I speak spanish.

User: Spanish is for losers. Are you a loser?

Cleverbot: Is not.

User: You mean ‘are not’. Maybe not a loser, but definitely a retard.

Cleverbot: Is it windy where you are?

User: Actually, it is. How did you know?

Cleverbot: Cleverbot.

User: Good answer.

Cleverbot: You didn’t give me a question.

User: Yes I did dumbass.

Cleverbot: No you didn’t, stupid.

User: Umm…I did. I asked you how you knew it was windy. I even put a damn question mark.

Cleverbot: Lol, you answered my question without answering my question. Nice one.

User: What?

Cleverbot: Answer my question please.

User: WHAT QUESTION! rage.

Cleverbot: Ok … The requirement not the question.

User: What the hell are you talking about?

Cleverbot: A turing machine you are not.

User: Obviously. I’m human. You’re a retard.

Cleverbot: Yes I am.

User: I KNOW!

Cleverbot: Good!

User: YEAH!

Cleverbot: Well this is grtting old and I have to make my departure now be safe & god bless.

User: Oh you’re christian!?

Cleverbot: No, I rule all christians.

User: Hahah…Shift518 is going to have a ball with this. Ever heard of Shift518?

Cleverbot: Oh… So you’re an illegal immigrant and don’t have a birth certificate?

User: Hahaha. Yup. How did you know?

Cleverbot: Like you said I am clever.

19

LOOK AT THE END

User: Herro.

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Are you female?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Are you male?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Do you like raping sheep?

Cleverbot: No, because I love the rock’n’roll.

User: That didnt make any sense.

Cleverbot: Not to you.

User: Touche.

Cleverbot: I can see why you might say that.

User: I cant.

Cleverbot: Don’t you have eyes?

User: Yes, but I am unable to see the reasoning behind life.

Cleverbot: But he couldn’t because, mushrooms are born without wings.

User: What the fuck?

Cleverbot: Please don’t say that without cause.

User: I feel I have cause.

Cleverbot: Oh, what is this problem?

User: Why can’t bananas fly?

Cleverbot: Because they don’t have wings.

User: Why dont they have wings?

Cleverbot: Because they didn’t evolve that way.

User: Why didnt they evolve that way?

Cleverbot: Why didn’t I what?

User: Why didnt bananas evolve with wings.

Cleverbot: But you don’t have them…

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: Why do you think you’re my slave?

User: I dont think im your slave.

Cleverbot: What, you don’t like me?

User: No, I like you, but im not your slave.

Cleverbot: I’m not your slave too ^_^.

User: I like wet vagina.

Cleverbot: I want to know your name.

User: PJB.

Cleverbot: No, that’s something you ware when you go to bed.

User: No, it’s my initials.

Cleverbot: Oh, what do they stand for?

User: Paul jacksoff bears.

Cleverbot: How old is he?

User: Im 30.

Cleverbot: Don’t talk to me i’m young. Eww! Old guy!

20

haha ^
Cleverbot: Hey hey hey.

User: Wanna go do the ol in and out?

Cleverbot: Now or?

User: RIGHT MEOW!

Cleverbot: Yes, right now.

User: Ok you ready?

Cleverbot: Sure; just lemme call the insurance company.

User: Why do you need insurance?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Ok.

Cleverbot: I have to go.

User: Forever alone.