Corrupt A Wish

Granted, but now you are quadriplegic.

I wish I had another me to pawn all my work off on.

Granted. The other you got bored and killed someone and you will get blamed.

I wish it was summer all year round in Buffalo.

GRANTED: You’ve got heat stroke

Wish I could get someone to buy my house.

Granted. Its summer year round in Blo but you’re developed an allergic reaction to the sun. Enjoy the rain.

I wish I was un-fired.

Granted. Now get to work.

I wish I had lots of energy.

edit: i’m too slow, fuck it

Granted, Now you must sit thtough a 12 hr marathon HAZOP meeting for a coffee maker.

I wish I was a baller

http://i131.photobucket.com/albums/p289/xnotoriousfobx/Decorated%20images/1280482430_making-it-rain.gif

Granted you’re so baller you’re actually a ball.

I wish I ruled the world.

Granted, you just were overthrown.

I wish I played in the NHL.

Granted. You just stopped a slapshot with your balls.

I wish I won the lotto.

Granted. Everyone you’ve ever met now hates you.

I wish I had a sandwich.

Granted, but now the sandwich is eating you.

I wish I had enough drive to finish my degree

Blaow! All the drive you need, you are insanely motivated. Buttt… you’re retarded. Good luck with that degree!

I wish I had another jr Bacon Cheeseburger MMM.

Granted, but you gave it to me. Thanks!!

I wish that I didn’t NOT have a million dollars sometimes on Fridays.

Granted. You don’t NOT have a million dollars sometimes on Fridays. Unfortunately your accounts are frozen every Friday and the money is wire transferred out at midnight on Saturday.

I wish that I could read minds.

Granted, but it only works with gay guys, many of whom may be attracted to you.

I wish NY wouldn’t tax the hell out of my paycheck.

granted, but you got fired the next day

I wish my lowered car didn’t get so scraped up on every bump

Granted, but now your car sits like a 4x4.

I wish that NYS would get it’s act together and function like a real state.

Granted, but now all of the public school teacher positions have been eliminated.

I wish Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and Karl Rove were on a plane that crashed on a remote island, Lost style, and they were never heard from again.

granted, but Obama is still president

I wish I had a better office with a real door