Granted, but now you are quadriplegic.
I wish I had another me to pawn all my work off on.
Granted. The other you got bored and killed someone and you will get blamed.
I wish it was summer all year round in Buffalo.
GRANTED: You’ve got heat stroke
Wish I could get someone to buy my house.
Granted. Its summer year round in Blo but you’re developed an allergic reaction to the sun. Enjoy the rain.
I wish I was un-fired.
Granted. Now get to work.
I wish I had lots of energy.
edit: i’m too slow, fuck it
Granted, Now you must sit thtough a 12 hr marathon HAZOP meeting for a coffee maker.
I wish I was a baller
Granted you’re so baller you’re actually a ball.
I wish I ruled the world.
Granted, you just were overthrown.
I wish I played in the NHL.
Granted. You just stopped a slapshot with your balls.
I wish I won the lotto.
Granted. Everyone you’ve ever met now hates you.
I wish I had a sandwich.
Granted, but now the sandwich is eating you.
I wish I had enough drive to finish my degree
Blaow! All the drive you need, you are insanely motivated. Buttt… you’re retarded. Good luck with that degree!
I wish I had another jr Bacon Cheeseburger MMM.
Granted, but you gave it to me. Thanks!!
I wish that I didn’t NOT have a million dollars sometimes on Fridays.
Granted. You don’t NOT have a million dollars sometimes on Fridays. Unfortunately your accounts are frozen every Friday and the money is wire transferred out at midnight on Saturday.
I wish that I could read minds.
Granted, but it only works with gay guys, many of whom may be attracted to you.
I wish NY wouldn’t tax the hell out of my paycheck.
granted, but you got fired the next day
I wish my lowered car didn’t get so scraped up on every bump
Granted, but now your car sits like a 4x4.
I wish that NYS would get it’s act together and function like a real state.
Granted, but now all of the public school teacher positions have been eliminated.
I wish Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin, and Karl Rove were on a plane that crashed on a remote island, Lost style, and they were never heard from again.
granted, but Obama is still president
I wish I had a better office with a real door