Dear Alex (my boss),
Take some fucking English classes. I cannot understand a word you say therefore I ignore all your requests at work. Please don’t send me anymore of your “I’m watching you” emails, just remember I’m responsible for a shit load of money/ equipment. Don’t piss me off.
Edit: Thanks for insluting me with your kindness, I’ll think I’ll grab a full tank of gas, 6 pack and a pizza with the large bonus you gave me. Fuck you
Dear security cameras above my head,
Fuck you.
Dear Sarah (wife of Boss)
Learn how to count you horrid bitch, I used one sick day, not five.
Stop reproducing.
Dear Dad,
I hate your g/f and I’ve put up with her drunkenness for 15 years.
I put on a facade when I’m around her. Truth be told, I just want to slit her throat. I pray when she steals your change in your truck and hits the local bar, that she gets hit by a snow plow. You know she sleeps around so much when I shake your hand I’m afraid I’ll get AIDS.
Dear Dads g/f
When my dad gives me money out of the blue, that doesn’t mean your whore of a daughter gets the same treatment. If you want to give your daughter money, maybe you should get a job or at least not take booze as a payment when you get fucked by random dudes at the local bar.
P.S I hate you