Democrat Convention Agenda

AGENDA

6:00 p.m. - Opening flag burning ceremony. 6:05 p.m. -
Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev.
Al Sharpton
6:30 p.m. - Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00 p.m. - Tribute theme to France.
7:10 p.m. - Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense
fund.
7:20 P.M. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:25 p.m. - Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45 p.m. - Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael
Moore)
8:25 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30 p.m. - Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00 p.m. - Gay marriage ceremony (both male and female couples)
9:30.p.m. - * Intermission *
9:55 P.M. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00.p.m. - Posting the Iraqi Colors by Sean Penn and
Tim Robbins 10:10 p.m. - Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss.
10:20.p.m. - Cameo by Dean ‘Yeeearrrrrrrg!’
10:30 p.m. - Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50 p.m. - Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00 p.m. - Multiple gay marriage ceremony(threesomes, mixed and same sex).
11:15 p.m. - Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30 p.m. - ‘Free Saddam’ pep rally.
11:59 p.m. - Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00 p.m. - Nomination of democrat candidate.
1:00 a.m - Ted Kennedy driving everyone home

(Any chance we could get Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary
home?)

holy old content batman!

:1320:

weak. :jerkit:

The 2004 Republican National Convention (New York City)

10:00 am: Opening Ceremony: Pat Boone accompanies Lee Greenwood singing
“I’m Proud to be an American” during raising of the Confederate flag.

10:05 am: Vote on motion to go into Closed Session. (If motion fails,
Justice Antonin Scalia will announce that all media must turn off audio
and video recording devices.)

10:30 am: Katherine Harris speaks on “Are Elections Really Necessary?”

10:45 am: Trent Lott - “Re-segregation in the 21st Century”

11:00 am: Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan

11:10 am: Phyllis Schlafly speaks on “Why Women Shouldn’t Be Leaders”

11:30 am: Rush Limbaugh - “Just Say No To Drugs”

11:45 am: Ann Coulter’s Tribute to “Joe McCarthy, American Patriot”

12:00 noon: Singing of “God Bless America” and big screen projection of
“Blue Angels” fly-over

12:04 pm: Lunch Break - steak with vegetable sides of ketchup and
relish, yellow cake

12:30 pm: Oliver North - “Never Trade Arms with Terrorists”

1:00 pm: Reps. Doolittle and DeLay speak on the GOP congressional
agenda.

1:30 pm: Group cheer – Global-warming-schmobal warming!

1:35 pm: GOP’s Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell and Condi
Rice

2:00 pm: Accounting for Beginners – “Tax Cuts are Good for Deficit
Reduction”

2:30 pm: Labor Secretary Elaine Chao speaks on “Economic Growth Through
Job Exportation”

3:00 pm: Newt Gingrich speaks on “The Sanctity of Marriage”

3:30 pm: Unveiling of “The Guide to Imperialism” by the Heritage
Foundation

4:00 pm: Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore

4:15 pm: “Stomp on Poor People” Happy Hour (guided sight-seeing buses
leaving for Harlem every 10 minutes)

6:00 pm: Dinner Break: Texas-Style Endangered Species Barbeque

7:00 pm: John Ashcroft leads ceremonial burning of the Bill of Rights

(Note to convention hall staff - make sure statue of Justice is fully
clothed)

7:15 pm: George W. Bush video tribute “Higher than a Kite: Portrait of a
Fighter Pilot”

7:30 pm: Vote on motion to put image of Ronald Reagan on one dollar bill

Keynote Speech by Dick Cheney (Exact time TBA, depending on his arrival
from secret bunker).

8:00 pm: “Kiss Ass” session with Christian Coalition

8:30 pm: Workshop on government-corporate relations by Dick Cheney

8:45 pm: Log Cabin Republicans Encounter Session – Coming to Terms with
Your Self-Hatred

9:00 pm: Assault Rifle Raffle

haha… exactly…