It’s not THAT bad. Is it better to do it at home yourself if you have time and the materials/knowledge? Sure. I used to take 6-7 hours on saturdays to detail my Maxima and initially my M35. Now, I just don’t have the time for it.
I have unlimited and go to the one near 155 on Central. Do I have swirls in my paint from the cloth? Sure. But, I’d likely get them over time washing the car at home myself. My paint is still smooth as glass and when clean isn’t that noticeable unless you know what you’re looking at. I don’t let them wax my car (as you said, it doesn’t go on even, etc.) or do anything else to it and they have not inflicted any other damage except for the below:
The only thing they have done wrong to my car is tear not one but both of my front mats to ****. Meaning, the little metal ring in the floor mat that goes over the hook. Tore them both clean out. Other than that, I have no issues with Hoffman and go through there 3 times a week.
My $0.02.