3 years down the drain. I’ll save the bullshit.
Losing the bestfriend and wife (same person) all at once, How did you deal?
Can we keep the bullshit out of this thread while grown ups talk?
I don’t drink/ can’t and I’m just really beside myself with this.
It seems like all the girls I know, or use to kick it with, all have kids, are married ect.
How did you guys deal with it? I’m sure some people have been thru a divorce or a bad breakup on here.
Its doing my head in.
Jump back on the ICP juggalette train?
I smiled. thanks.
Looking for serious advice on here probably won’t go well…
However my advice might actually help you move on.
I can’t help specifically as I have not been through something like that, but I find that when I generally feel depressed/isolated jumping into a hobby really helps. Find something to be passionate about to fill your time.
Obviously it is not going to replace companionship in the long run, but helps getting through hard times.
Sorry to hear man, it’s a tough time to go through
Ouch, sorry man. I’ve never been through it either luckily, but have been helping a friend get through a bad one for almost a year. Stay busy, spend time with people who care about you, make the most of it by doing things she never liked doing (hobbies, etc). Take a vacation. Don’t sit around all day doing nothing because you’ll go nuts. I got sucked into my friend’s situation pretty bad, and have heard the words “don’t ever get divorced” about 200 times so far. The day she left the house she helped completely remodel was pretty emotional. Hopefully it doesn’t get ugly and drawn out. I guess you can be grateful there are no kids involved, because that’s always 10X worse.
After going through some very tough times of anxiety and depression myself, I realized talking to friends/family and keeping my mind occupied help the most. Like Penfold said, an old hobby or even a new one will help a lot. Exercise helped me a lot too.
I’ve been down the drinking trail, did the whole prescribed medicine scam and indulged in illegal drugs… but legal or not, all they do is temporarily block the problem and lets it fester in the back of your mind and only becomes worse so I’m glad you don’t want to hit the bottle.
And I totally feel for you about trying to kick it with girls you used to know, now that I’m in my mid 20’s most of the women I used to know are in serious relationships, married or pregnant. It sucks but stay positive and strong. One day at a time man, it WILL get better.
That’s very true.
Once I was in Korea, the other Afghanistan.
Nothing but a small room to go crazy, can’t show the guys your working with that your out of your mind.
Solution, booze. Its the worse solution, but you can totally drink away whole years of memories.
You asked, its not the right answer, and please don’t do what I did, but sometimes its to painful to deal with.
OH and TOYS, LOTS OF TOYS.
Brand new 20ft enclosed, and a good start on a new race car was Korea. After Afghanistan, It was a new quad and parts for the airplane. It pisses the ex off like you don’t know. Especially when you tell them you sold the ring to pay for them.
Joe should be on here shortly adding comments about how marriage sucks.
I’ve gotten through one relationship that really got me down. The rest bounced off me like nothing.
But seriously alcohol works. Luckily I have plenty of friends that go out to bars. Every weekend I would go out with them and have a blast. It reminded me of my life before the relationship. All the fun I had hanging out with my friends slowly disapeared, the more serious I got with the GF.
I did this until I got better.
And although it sounds like a crock of shit now.
TIME HEALS EVERYTHING.
I don’t want to be the first asshole in this thread, but based on some of the shit you post about women on here, is anyone surprised?
Either way, keep your head up. Time heals all.
Blows, but why are you even thinking about other girls you’ve “kicked it” with?
If this was me, which I truly hope it never is, the first thing I’d do is confide in my friends and family. Then I’d focus on hobbies and exercise.
Drinking or drugs is just temporary and can lead to very bad decisions.
Good luck.
Fuck what everyone says about alcohol, its a half-assed way of getting over things, and you don’t grow or learn from it in the end (well, maybe way down the road you do, but it will be the alcohol you’re learning about and not your situation).
I know you have been trying to lose weight this winter, so I would take more time to form a schedule that revolves around meeting those goals.
you guys didnt split because everything was going well.
“yes things are grand, we just bought a house. we’ve decided to split”
move on…fuck some broads
Time, friends, and stay busy… I’m still going through mine… and it’s not fun. Most times it’s ok cuz we’re civil with each other… but she sure knows how to push my buttons whenever we get together to talk about crap.
Friends and staying busy are what kept me from loosing it completely last summer. I even still lost it and had a few breakdowns.
Like has been said, bury yourself in something… work a lot more, find a hobby that takes up all your time, spend it out with your friends on booze, weed, and loose women… whatever floats your boat.
And if you’re going to crash, let yourself… we all do it once in a while, but don’t let the crash consume you. Crash, fall down, feel like shit, and then after a little while (Normally after a good night sleep and some convo with friends) pick yourself back up and get back to living life.
If you need or want to chat with someone who’s going through one as well drop me a PM, maybe we can meet up for a beer somewhere.
Time… it just takes time… Eventually it’ll be over and she’ll just be a memory of times past.
Exercise, find hobbies, find clubs i.e. get back with your jeep and go wheeling.
Look for possible new work, starting some place new. Not bashing B low, but ive been up there a couple times, and the place isnt very big and can almost seem depressing with lack of shit to do.
If you CAN, look at new places to plant roots.
Any advice you get here is only a bandaid. In all honesty, you probably wont listen to anyone, and im not saying this to be a dick, but its human nature. We all want to hear advice, but never take it cause you think that theres a way to make shit work.
Its hard man, i dont know you personally, but it does blow no matter who you are.
I forgot to put it in the “what are the best things you’ve ever spent money on” thread, but honestly a divorce is easily among the best things I ever bought. You know why divorces are expensive? Because they’re worth it.
As for how to deal- Short term, do whatever interests you. Hang out with friends, spend time wrenching in the garage, take flying lessons.
When you’re up for it, match.com or yahoo personals. Be picky, learn from what didn’t work before, and don’t rush into anything serious. My current girlfriend is great in all the ways my ex-wife wasn’t.
It’s a chance to start over. Do it right and it’ll be awesome.
As stated above…
time, friends, and stay busy… best way to deal with it.
get a friend/friends who you will take your mind off it or preoccupy you… call them whenever you need too.
keep in mind, this friends jobs is to tell you how much better you deserve and what a mistreating demoralizing, bitch/whore/etc she was… ( i have a lot of these friends <3)
(ex.)
Anonymous friend: hey shithead! fuck her, why do you put yourself through this everyday.
Great advice, definitely the things you should do for some immediate relief.
Just remember all the things you hated about her, start hanging out with the friends you stopped hanging out with, and think of it as a good thing.