Even Long Island doesn't want them

You will NEVER find Guidos:
-Playing football in a park
-Working
-Wearing a shirt if it is not required
-Politely ordering a meal at a restaurant
-Looking a man in the eyes when shaking his hands
-Purchasing any goods or services with money they actually earned
-Doing the right thing
-Having a pleasant demeanor
-Being truly happy
-Having an educated opinion on a worldly issue