Let me start off by saying this…
I do not poop in public.
Not ever. Not at work Not at school, Not at the bar, Not anywere but a Pooper in a house.
So i wrote My operations exam this morning, and I was about an hour into when i feel “the burbel” I think to my self, “this is going to be a fun hour” and press on 30 min later Im working on my second to last question trying to explane the economical order point of a crate of toothpaste, and i feel the burbel again, just worse, and louder. In my head im going, oh crap, you have 2 questions left Write quick! I finish the question I was working on, and move to the last one.
At this point i cant even see im hurting so bad, so im scribbling down whatever i can think of on this 20 mark question, writing half equations, not putting numbers anywere close to where they should be, Im about 1 quarter of a way done the question and it hit, I had to go now, no ifs ands or buts, so I write in the bottem of the question, "must poo, no time to finish" in big bold letters, hopefully trying to get a simpaty mark.
I then proceed to boogy out of there, trying to walk as normally as i possibly can up to the front of the exam room, and at this point walking normal probibly looked like walking with my ass and legs taped together.
I get out of the exam room and think to myself, where is the cleanest, closet most confedential bathroom around, I think University 3rd floor make a B-line from the gym threw the justist wing, up the elevator, down the hall to the left and to the bathroom.
You would think this is the end of my story, BUt no. It just gets worse
So i get to the bathroom, and remember I have never, not once pooped in public before, NEVER. So i go and try to line the toilet with TP and it keeps falling in, meenwhile, my ass hole is becoming more unhappy, and i know this feeling, fart, and you will no longer have to need the bathroom facilitys, but the ones of a pants store, so im keeping a tight rain on things here, I finally get the TP to stay and slam my ass down, when boom, Not one Not two, Not three, But yeap Four people walk into the bathroom, Now I have a thing with making shit noises, i think its fucking funny as hell but when people do it in a public bathroom its grose, So i hold it in, Nice and tight. For like 10 min, Im about to cry by the time the last guy leaves. I just let a fire blast go, I meen i fill the toilet so much that i need a double flush, ON AN INDUSTRIAL SIZE TOLITE. So i finish my business, and go to grab some more Tp, and Wopps, looks like having to many misshapps trying to line the seats cost me, and if you have ever had green apple splatter, you know what im talking about when i say, you need a lot of TP.
So i crack open the door, make sure no one is there, and sneak into the next stall grab some Tp and turn around to get back to my stall, when out of no were the maybe 29 hot cleaner lady walkes into the bathroom
with me standing there holding my pants up with my ass half out, and a horrible smell comming from my stall. She just looked at me laughed and said there better not be anything in there I need to clean up and walked out.
God damn what a morning.
moral of this story,
Pre game shits a must.
Dont eat crappy frozen food the night before a big exam or you will loose 20 marks.
