Funniest sex story?

[GATVILLE]

@crazyz250

Haha this is epic. I got a few.

Senior year of HS had a party in the woods for my friend’s bday. She brought one of her friends along and she was pretty good looking. Few beers later nailed her in the woods she said she wanted to be on top I said fuck that your layn in the dirt. Nutted in her face and walked away.

Freshmen year of college first few weeks of school. Cute girl kept eye fucking me in the dining hall so I went over and talked to her and her friends. Asked her if she wanted to come to my dorm and watch a movie. I un-zipped and she went to work. A few min into her head bob weaving I hear a knock on my door, thought it was my roommate I yell “PZZZ”… knock again “I’m busy!”… Knock again so I get up (she was topless) Fucking security guard had to “check the fire alarm” to make sure it was working. I open the door in my pjs and he goes “umm yea sorry to interrupt but I just need 30 seconds” as he leaves he goes “have fun” hahaha back to work she went. She wouldn’t let me nail her because she “had a BF” wtf does that matter shes already blowing me grrr.

Me and my ex broke up and didn’t talk for like two weeks. She calls me and says “come over RITE NOW” I’m like ah shit so I went over. She’s being all bossy she goes “GET IN MY CAR” I’m like wtf woahhh what’s going on? She goes “you wana get laid or what, get in” haha yeaaa I’m in. So we drive up the street to the parking lot we used to fuck in when her family was home. she hopes in the back seat, with a skirt on, spread eagle with no panties and goes “NOW FUCK ME” haha i inserted it and we get back to her house and she goes “NOW LEAVE YOUR STILL AN ASSHOLE” hahahahahahaha

Okay so same girl ^^ but now I’m in college, this was like a week after that whole fire alarm bJ incident. It’s Friday night and we have been back together for like a week, she came out to the bar with us. Two red bull and vodka’s and shes all grabbing my shit. So I leave and go back to nail her duhhh. We broke my computer chair because it rocks and shes getting a little frisky. So after like two hours and nutting twice on her tits my roommate came back all drunk (2 or 3am?) he goes “I don’t care what you do after I fall asleep” So were sitting there and she whispers “can I suck it pleaseeeee” and he hears it and starts laughing so hard he fell out of bed (he’s hammered) So he’s like “idc I’m so drunk do w.e” so she’s like YESSS and hops on my shit and starts ridn. He looks over and is like AHHHHHHH runs out of the room and announces to the whole hallway (also just got back, drunk) “SEITZ IS FUCKING HIS GF AND I CANT SLEEP HARPER HELP ME HARPER!!!” the kid next door to me was Harper and apparently he wanted his help haha. Well as he left he forgot to close my door. So my girl hops off my shit to close the door just as a few kids are coming down the hallway. She’s drunk, slips on the carpet and falls into the hall butt ass naked and everyone sees her tits all flyn around haha geez

i lolled at the first one :lol