Garage Commandments

NYSpeed Automotive NYSpeed Off Topic
1

There are 15, because the last tablet wasn’t dropped and broken like those other “10”.

  1. The shop/garage shall be forever kept as the sacred realm of the Man.
    No lacy curtains nor gingham privacy panels shall be allowed on the
    windows of the sacred shop/garage.

  2. The shop/garage shall not be excessively cleaned, except in cases of
    extreme need, such as when a pair of holy Vise-Grip locking pliers hath
    gone missing.

  3. Dust, grease, and oil are the holy sacraments of the garage, and thus
    must never be disposed of in haste or with malice.

  4. Honor thy rags. Even the dirty ones. They shall be used to mop up thy
    mess.

  5. Complaineth not when the Man’s Friends cometh over to work on thy Hot
    Rod, Harley or four-wheel-drive vehicle on a Thursday night until 2:00 a.m.
    Be
    thee grateful that the Man and his Friends are not attending stimulating
    performances of voluptuous harlots at the girly club on this evening.

  6. Thou shalt not ask the Man to bring in the groceries when you see
    that his hands are greasy, or that he is underneath a car working on the
    evil U-joint.

  7. Adjust not the volume of music that playeth in the shop/garage.
    Impose not your questionable music tastes on those who savor the chant
    of Rock and Roll at 11 p.m.

  8. Borroweth not the hammer or ratchet of the Man which lies protected
    in the sacred red tool box. If thou breakest this commandment, at least
    have the courtesy to place the tool back in correct location and drawer.
    No, putting it on the workbench isn’t good enough—how wouldst the man
    know to looketh there?

  9. Tools of the garage/shop shouldst remain in the garage at all times,
    excepting when the Man shall use them for home repair, in which case the
    sacred tools must remain wherever the Man leaves them, verily including
    even the kitchen counter.

  10. Loaneth not the tools of the Man to your fishy friends who hath not
    earned tools of their own.

  11. Closeth the trash can at all time, lest the stinking odor of cat
    poop foul the air.

  12. Covet not the multiple screwdrivers in the Man’s sacred red tool
    box, and cast not thy insults on the Man’s need for additional
    screwdrivers in the future. Each screwdriver serves a unique,
    substitution-impossible purpose.

  13. Obey the Flat Surface Rule. Always put down the tool you are using
    on the nearest flat surface. Then look for it elsewhere—stopeth for a
    beer when discouraged.

  14. Respect the large piece of cardboard against the garage wall. The
    Man useth it to lay on when he is under the car. Touch it not, lest
    lightning strike thee dead.

  15. I sayeth to you: No sweeter sound ever shall be heard than thy own
    air impact wrench in thy own garage. Air tools are a blessing from
    above. Do not complaneth of noise that thou sacred compressor makes.

2

well if it wasn’t soit harding to be readith … lol it would ahve been better

3

lol, I may put that into illustrator, apply some fancy font, and print that up… especially the cardboard part! :lol:

4

why use cardboard when you have a creeper?

5

Because someth of us shall not afford thee Craftsman Professional Edition that converth into a mobile seat, all others shall not compareth.

6

hahahha, awesome :tup:

7

you think that’s bad the snap-on one is wayyy more lol

8

praise tha lord, can ah get an amen? :smiley:

plus creepers don’t soak up atf to well :wink:

9

Thee cardboard worketh better with low cars. Or in case of trucks whereas you dont need to jack it up if you use cardboard, but will to use creeper.

10

hahah, definately going to have to print that up and hang it up in the garage

11

clears throat not all of us have a smooth concrete surface to work on and the creeper doesn’t roll good