ChodeKING: WAAAAAAAAASUPPPPPP?!!?!?!?!
Zack: Nothing.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> WAAAAAAAAASUPPPPP!!!!!!?
<b>Zack:</b> I'm replacing the tapes in my Mellotron with natural sound from a meat packing plant to foley a porno.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> sweeeeet i am HIGH AS AFUCK RIGHT NOW
<b>Zack:</b> Sounds like you better step away from the Internet.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> PPPPSSSSH whats a meltotron?
<b>Zack:</b> Have you ever seen Ghost Dad?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> nerp
<b>Zack:</b> It's exactly like Ghost Dad.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> sweeeeeet wanna kno what i am doing
<b>Zack:</b> I want nothing of the sort.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> AAAAH FUCK
<b>Zack:</b> Was your head just run over by a truck?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> LOL WHAT?? no
<b>Zack:</b> Our idiot god turns away from my heartfelt prayers yet again.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> im tryin to get this candybar open
<b>Zack:</b> Maybe I can help. Place the edge of the wrapper between your teeth...
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ok
<b>Zack:</b> And now lay your head in front of an oncoming truck.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> LOL i got it brosev
<b>Zack:</b> I suppose pieces of your skull weren't dislodged in the process.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> nerp used my keys
<b>ChodeKING:</b> i held it with one hand and used the keys with another
<b>ChodeKING:</b> the edge uct right in and then i tore it open the rest of the way
<b>ChodeKING:</b> now im chewing on some of it
<b>Zack:</b> Fascinating. I have to go soon but do you think you could text me with updates as it digests?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> its a babyruth had a 3 musketers earlier
<b>Zack:</b> Sounds like a big night at the ChodeKING household. I'd better let you get back to the feast.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> BNZZZZZZTTTT!!! just getfn my snack on
<b>ChodeKING:</b> yo you play ne games?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> you still there?
<b>Zack:</b> Sorry, I was just explaining pet RFIDs to my friend.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> whos that
<b>Zack:</b> He's a cowboy, he just bought a miniature horse and he's afraid it will escape from its cage.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> like a real cowboy
<b>Zack:</b> Yes, he's from the 19th century and he doesn't understand our modern world.
ChodeKING: how did you meet him
<b>Zack:</b> Remember how I was telling you about Ghost Dad?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ya
<b>Zack:</b> He came through the Mellotron just like Ghost Dad.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> whats he like
<b>Zack:</b> He's a cowboy. He's very rugged and no-nonsense, but he's a bit bewildered by the information age. He's also very excitable and it's his birthday.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> yo tell him happy bday from the C-KING
<b>Zack:</b> Hang on, he's climbing the drapes again.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ok
<b>Zack:</b> Alright, I'm back. I filled a squirt bottle so I can just squirt him with that if he starts acting up again.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> did you tell him happy bday????
<b>Zack:</b> No! We already did his cake and presents. I'm trying to calm him down before bed.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> harsh
<b>Zack:</b> Look, if you want to clean up cowboy scat and pay for new drapes I'll be happy to get him all worked up over his birthday again. Otherwise, forget it.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> wat presents did yuo get him??
<b>Zack:</b> A William Henry Harrison box kite, a flask of Laudanum, and an iPod Touch preloaded with August Rush and the entire discography of Gary Numan.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> sweet
<b>Zack:</b> He started crying when he heard "Are 'Friends' Electric?" and we had to take the iPod away from him.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> that sux yo shoulda got him a zune
<b>Zack:</b> Some lessons we learn the hard way, ChodeKING.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> how long have you had him?
<b>Zack:</b> Hang on, he's eating my ficus and the squirt bottle isn't working.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> whats a ficus
<b>Zack:</b> zsdgnk;fgnk;dfn;gdnlfgnk
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ???????
<b>Zack:</b> Sorry about that, he was climbing on the keyboard. I think he really wants to talk to you.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ill talk to him
<b>Zack:</b> Okay, but whatever you do don't mention his birthday. Even if he brings it up!
<b>ChodeKING:</b> what do i do if he does?
<b>Zack:</b> Just change the subject to something else. Talk about cattledrives or Commanche Indians or something.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> dont kno much about those
<b>Zack:</b> That's okay, he loves to talk about them. Alright, I'm putting him on. He may be a little slow, he's never typed before.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ok
<b>Zack:</b> And he's illiterate.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> ok
<b>Zack:</b> And he screams if the computer makes a sound or something moves on the screen.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> got it
<b>Zack:</b> Alright, here's the mellotron cowboy...
Mellotron Cowboy: GREEtings to you podner
ChodeKING: hi cowboy
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> IAMACOWBOY
<b>ChodeKING:</b> yep heard that pretty cool.......
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> ARE YOU A COW BOY?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> no just a reguler boy
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> I FIGHT COWS
<b>ChodeKING:</b> what did they do to you?????
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> BETRAYED THE COWBOY CODE
<b>ChodeKING:</b> whats that??
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> YOU ARE NOT COWBOY JUST REGULAR BOY
<b>ChodeKING:</b> i could be
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> I fight cows
<b>ChodeKING:</b> how many have you fought
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> Do you drink blood computer?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> what?????
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> Light talkers the Commanche called you. Thinking iron, the horseless kisser. Their shaman said you would destroy the white man.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> im ur brosev im not a computer
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> I AM A WHITE MAN
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> I FIGHT COWS
<b>ChodeKING:</b> are you tyelling??
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> Dearest Gwen, if you receive this strange letter from a different time, please tell the whores at the Tinkling Turnip that I miss them all dearly. You will be pleased to know they have cured the ginny trots in this dream I am having.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> im not gwen
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> GWEN!!!!! GWEEEENNNNNNN! It's so hard to be away from you now. My tits ache.
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> Gwen, they treat their cows like gods here. They run everything in this terrible terrible dream.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> my name isnt gwen
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> That I cannot see your face on my birthday is the greatest injustice.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> lets talk about commancheeps
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> The Commanche have 65 words for BIRTHDAY. Rakepillo, Zubaz, Propecia...
<b>ChodeKING:</b> do u have a cattle drive????
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> Gwen, I've bought you a tiny horse. I've named it Terry. It's so beautiful, Gwen. Like dawn breaking burnished gold across the mesas. I'm going to give it to you for your birthday Gwen. Teach it to kiss.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> IM NOT FFING GWEN AND ITS NOT MY FING BDAY
<b>Mellotron Cowboy:</b> JJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJJjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj
<b>ChodeKING:</b> hello?
<b>ChodeKING:</b> HELLO????!!!!
<b>Zack:</b> I put him back in his crate. He scratched up my arms and knocked over all of my pictures on the mantle. Thanks for nothing, ChodeKING.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> is that you cowboy guy?
<b>Zack:</b> The next time you need help opening your candy bar try asking Yahoo Answers.
<b>ChodeKING:</b> I DIdnt say anything!!!!
<b>Zack:</b> Tell that to one heartsick cowboy crying to be let out of his crate. Good day, sir.